Hilary Duff performed at London’s GAY club last friday looking like this. There’s something deeply disturbing about Hilary Duff trying to act sexy. It’s like watching a six-year-old perform a striptease. Or seeing a horse put on some lipstick and mascara and try to be seductive by batting its eyes at you.

Original post by Suzi

Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee were spotted at The Ivy with their kids this week getting lunch as a family. And after exiting the restaurant the two were seen making out with their kids in the backseat.

Getting back together with the guy that gave you hepatitis C and used to beat you probably isn’t the best idea. I’m starting to question Pamela Anderson’s decision-making abilities. In a couple months she’ll probably be spotted making out with a rusty nail and then telling all her friends, “It hurts so much, but he loves me so it’s okay.”

Original post by Suzi

UN Goodwill Ambassador Angelina Jolie reportedly foiled a kidnapping attempt on her life. She tells the News of the World:

“It was in a small village. I won’t say where, or with whom, but some gangsters planned to kidnap me and extort a massive ransom. I was warned at the last minute, and managed to escape, luckily.”

Angelina Jolie always sounds like she’s leading the most exciting life. All I did over the weekend was punch a terrorist in the mouth before stealing his helicopter and blowing up a gang of pirates. I guess nobody ever tries to kidnap me because they know they’d also be kidnapping the worst ass-kicking they’d ever receive in their entire lives.

Original post by Suzi

Ashley Olsen was spotted getting some coffee in Beverly Hills yesterday wearing 80’s denim cutoffs and a Prada turban. I know the Olsen sisters are supposed to be fashionable or whatever, but I’ve never ever in my life seen them wear anything that hasn’t looked ridiculously stupid. Is that what being fashionable means? Maybe I should start tucking my shirts into my underwear and wearing giant novelty sunglasses. I’ll be the prettiest girl in town!

Original post by Suzi

Ashley Olsen was spotted getting some coffee in Beverly Hills yesterday wearing 80’s denim cutoffs and a Prada turban. And I know the Olsen sisters are supposed to be fashionable or whatever, but I’ve never ever in my life seen them wear anything that hasn’t looked ridiculously stupid. Is that what being fashionable means? Maybe I should start tucking my shirts into my underwear and wearing giant novelty sunglasses. I’ll be the prettiest girl in town!

NOTE: I didn’t notice before, but she’s got a massive erection going on in those shorts.

Original post by Suzi

Friends of Mandy Moore say she’s dumped DJ AM and is single again. DJ AM (aka Adam Goldstein) used to date Nicole Richie and after they broke up he reportedly told friends he needed to date another high-profile person so he could get some more publicity. Sadly, his idea of high-profile is Nicole Richie and Mandy Moore. And now that they’ve both dumped him, he’ll probably dress one of his friends up as the Burger King and pretend that they’re dating.

Original post by Suzi

There’s a bidding war going on (currently around $150,000) for a security tape showing Britney Spears changing into a bikini and fishnets with two dancers at New York’s One nightclub last month. The two dancers were fired after management discovered the video of them doing some “serious partying” with Britney.

“The manager said there was a tape of them,” said our spy. “Both the girls cried about it when they got fired, but they didn’t deny it. There’s a camera above the office back there that can see that whole room.”

Who would want to see Britney Spears changing into a bikini and fishnets? Five years ago maybe, but now it’d just look like some special for National Geographic. The video could be of a beached humpback whale and all the bidders would be like, “Is that? Is that Britney? Are you sure? Did she lose some weight or something?”

Original post by Suzi