Flynet Pictures

Either Marcia Cross is a giant and drives around in custom-built giant cars, or Eva Longoria is, by my scientific calculations, two and a half feet tall. It looks like they used special effects on her or something. Like they’re shooting a new Lord of the Rings movie and she’s playing Gnomey, the extra small Hobbit.

A couple more pics of Eva Longoria looking like a tiny little person after the jump.

Original post by Suzi

A rep for E! has confirmed that Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton are going to be counseling overweight campers on the new season of The Simple Life.

“They are going to be camp counselors at one camp in the Southern California Mountains,” says an E! spokesperson. “The camp has five different themes. Each week will be a different theme. And yes, one week is a weight loss/fitness camp. It’s not a fat camp.”

Because, really, who better to guide the fate of fat children than Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. They’re gonna spend the whole time pointing and laughing and going, “Jesus, they’re so fat!” And then Nicole Richie will say, “Oh my God, Paris, they can hear you.” And then they’ll laugh some more and Paris will laugh so hard she’ll let out a little fart. And maybe a little poo will come out. Just a little. Because she’s classy.

Original post by Suzi

I’m not saying Ryan Seacrest is gay, but come on, this is just too much. Who goes jogging like that? And why is he putting on a little butt-grabbing show for his jogging buddy? I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this, but he’d look more straight if he was posing with an erect penis in his mouth.

One more of Ryan Seacrest jogging with his male friend after the jump.

Original post by Suzi

Eva Longoria has replaced Mischa Barton as the new face of Bebe Sport, because at least Eva pretends to work out as opposed to smoking pot all day. And for some reason they celebrated the announcement with Eva Longoria’s birthday. She cleans up real nice, but she looks more than a little insane here. I’d trust her with my penis about as much as I’d trust Kirstie Alley with my Twinkie. Or Britney Spears with my baby. Or Lindsay Lohan with, well, anything.

Original post by Suzi

If you saw these photos and wished with all your might there was video, your prayers have been answered. Here’s the video of Carmen Electra and Alison Sweeny forgetting how to walk at Max Factor’s Clothes Off Our Back charity event. And here’s the video of me forgetting how to satisfy the needs of a woman. Oh wait, no it isn’t. Because that’s never happened. High five!

Original post by Suzi

Tara Reid was spotted shopping in Beverly Hills over the weekend without her bra on in a see through shirt. And what planet does Tara Reid think she’s on that it would possibly be okay for her to go out without a bra? She has monster implants from hell. The only top she could wear that would even be mildly acceptable is plate armor.

Original post by Suzi

Lindsay Lohan has apparently been out partying and drinking every single night since she arrived in New York last week.

The newly blond starlet was with Jude Law at The Box both Friday and Saturday nights, where spies said she was “drinking champagne and dancing with four Lindsay look-alikes.” She also partied at Stereo last Friday, Butter and Bungalow 8 on Monday, and had plans to hit the Plumm last night with pal Charlotte Ronson. Lohan’s rep, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, told Page Six, “Lindsay’s doing fine. She’s taking her life day by day.”

So rehab didn’t work for her at all. What the hell was she doing in there? While everybody else was getting treated for their addictions she was probably playing Hungry Hungry Hippo, clapping her hands excitedly going, “Look at the hippos eat! They’re so hungry!” Then when one of the employees taps her shoulder to let her know a meeting is about to start she orders a Cosmopolitan and takes a nap.

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Original post by Suzi