Paris Hilton was spotted at Teddy’s last week still sporting her enlarged bosom. Although I forget, are we still going with the pushup bra theory or have we moved on to breast implants? I’m cool either way, I just want to know our official position. Plus, what the hell is going on here? Maybe I’m just a little rusty on my technique, but I’m pretty sure this is not how you enter a car. Unless you’re Napoleon and leading your men into battle.

Original post by Suzi

Bruce Willis turned 52 last week and was spotted making out with Courtney Love at Roxy on Sunset Blvd. A witness says:

“They were full-on making out.”

I know he’s getting desperate, but Courtney Love? He might as well have been making out with a pile of garbage. I doubt he’d even be able to tell the difference, except that maybe the garbage would smell nicer and have better hair. And probably speak more coherently.

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Original post by Suzi

Jeremy Piven has been banned from Nobu Matsuhisa’s restaurants after he left a DVD of the first season of Entourage as a tip. He was in Aspen for the recent US Comedy Arts Festival and a source says:

“He was asked never to return to Matsuhisa in Aspen by a manager. He came in with a large group of 12 or more without reservations and asked for a table. It was a very busy night, but a table, although cramped, was provided. On his way out, he made a nasty comment to the manager: ‘Thanks for nothing.’ He left a DVD of the first year of ‘Entourage’ to one of the waiters. [An employee] ran up the stairs and hurled it at him as he was leaving.”

I tried that once and left an autographed picture of myself as a tip. Only instead of getting mad and throwing it back at me the waitress started making out with it and rubbing it all over her body. And then her friends joined in and they all got naked. Okay fine I lied. They were naked the whole time.

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Original post by Suzi

Christina Aguilera showed up to the Back to Basics after party wearing fishnet stockings and the tightest see-through dress ever. I’m just wondering how many times she has to do this before we can officially call her a prostitute. It’s too bad the circus wasn’t in town, because she would’ve made a fortune. You know, because she’s so good at juggling and taming tigers.

More of Christina Aguilera looking very classy after the jump.

Original post by Suzi

Police told reporters today that Anna Nicole Smith officially died of an accidental overdose and no foul play was suspected. The Broward County police chief says:

“We are convinced, based on an extensive review of the evidence, that this case is an accidental overdose with no other criminal element present. We have reviewed hundreds of hours of video, tape captured by the hotel security cameras and we found nothing unusual.” Tiger said a laptop belong to the model’s boyfriend Howard Stern similarly revealed “nothing to indicate any foul play.”

So now you officially know what you already knew. I’m surprised it took them over a month to figure this out. It took most people, what, twelve seconds to piece together the evidence? Rain Man could’ve solved this case faster.

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Original post by Suzi

Denise Richards and Pamela Anderson are being sued for the incident last November where Denise Richards assaulted the paparazzi. According to the lawsuit she became enraged when she saw two photographers taking her pictures, called them “paparazzi scum” and other names, assaulted them, then grabbed their laptops and threw them over the balcony.

Afterward, they said, Richards and Anderson “made repeated false and defamatory statements to law enforcement and various media outlets which were deliberately calculated to embarrass, humiliate and ridicule plaintiffs.”

I’m not siding with the paparazzi, but Denise Richards is kind of a maniac. Only poorly written movie characters and insane people throw laptops over balconies. This is the kind of chick who throws scalding hot coffee in her waitress’s face because her eggs are overcooked. Then while everybody’s staring at her with their mouths open she takes a bite of her pancakes and goes, “Mmm, these are great!”

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Original post by Suzi

Flynet Pictures

Britney Spears visited a hair salon in Beverly Hills over the weekend, which is a little confusing since she doesn’t have any hair. Then again, not having a vagina has never stopped me from going into the women’s bathroom with no pants on, a camcorder, and a stool. That’s right, ladies, I’m all class.

A few more of Britney Spears at a hair salon after the jump.

Original post by Suzi