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A pregnant Jordan aka Katie Price and her husband have been spotted all over Beverly Hills promoting her new show on E!. If you don’t know who Jordan is, you will soon. For some reason the UK is sending America all it’s useless celebrities and for some reason America is giving them all reality TV shows. Which would be funny if it weren’t so depressingly true. And if you need help recognizing her, she’s the cartoon character of a woman that makes Pamela Anderson look flat.

One more of Jordan looking like she has three ginormous breasts after the jump.

Original post by Suzi

Alessandra Ambrosio showed up to the Entourage Season 3 premiere last week looking like her usual ridiculous self. I read somewhere that if she’s in the presence of ugly people for too long their faces melt off and they spontaneously combust. I think it was Scientific America. And you can’t argue with science.

Original post by Suzi

Paris Hilton was spotted with her ass hanging out and her normal-sized boobs. Which is almost as exciting as that one time I ordered regular fries and found a curly fry in there. That was the best day ever.

Original post by Suzi

Jenna Jameson disappointed fans at last weekend’s Exxxotica when she left early because her line of fans was shorter than rival porn star Tera Patrick’s. She was contractually supposed to show up for six hours in two days, but arrived late on both days and left 45 minutes early on the second day. A source says:

“When fans openly asked her about her [botched surgery] and why she was so thin, her people cut them off. But she shouldn’t be standing in front of an old photo of herself when she’s about 40 pounds skinnier than she was.”

Jenna Jameson still has fans? I thought they either died of old age or replaced her with somebody hotter. Like a raccoon wearing a dress. Or a bowl of expired milk.

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Original post by Suzi

Brandon Davis showed up to the Details magazine party at producer Mary Parent’s house, but when he was denied entrance “he started demanding that staffers get Stavros [Niarchos]” because he had apparently told Davis about the party and was already inside.

But when staffers found Niarchos, he begged them to tell Davis that he wasn’t there, adding, “I didn’t invite him here, and I don’t really want to be around him.” Niarchos then joined the other revelers. Davis eventually made such a fuss that he was allowed in - and Niarchos beelined to a Details editor to apologize, adding, “You know I would never bring him here.”

You’d have to be insane to want to take responsibility for Brandon Davis. You’d also have to be insane to try and juggle bottles filled with your own urine. Somebody else’s urine, sure. But your own? That’s just crazy talk.

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Original post by Suzi

Kurt Russell says he thought he was going to get his first kiss in third grade, but got stabbed instead, and even has the scar to prove it. He tells Men’s Journal:

“I was in third grade, and … I noticed this really hot chick hanging out under the bridge with her friend. She was probably 13, and there was this vibe about her, you know. She says, ‘Hey, come here.’ I think I’m going to get my first kiss. She lifts my shirt, then all of a sudden reaches into her bee hive, pulls out a penknife, and drags it about 6 inches across my stomach. It starts to bleed, and they haul ass. I was, like, ‘What?’ “

It must’ve been pretty hard living back in the Stone Age. Where girls pretended they were going to kiss you, but then stabbed you in the stomach instead. Call me old fashioned, but when a girl pretends they’re going to kiss you that gives you the right to have sex with her. And if she resists, well that’s just her being feisty. Rowr!

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Original post by Suzi

Kurt Russell says he thought he was going to get his first kiss in third grade, but got stabbed instead, and even has the scar to prove it. He tells Men’s Journal:

“I was in third grade, and … I noticed this really hot chick hanging out under the bridge with her friend. She was probably 13, and there was this vibe about her, you know. She says, ‘Hey, come here.’ I think I’m going to get my first kiss. She lifts my shirt, then all of a sudden reaches into her bee hive, pulls out a penknife, and drags it about 6 inches across my stomach. It starts to bleed, and they haul ass. I was, like, ‘What?’ “

It must’ve been pretty hard living back in the Stone Age. Where girls pretended they were going to kiss you, but then stabbed you in the stomach instead. Call me old fashioned, but when a girl pretends they’re going to kiss you that gives you the right to have sex with her. And if she resists, well that’s just her being feisty. Rowr!

Source

Original post by Suzi