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You know it’s a slow news day when I’m stuck posting about Britney Spears trying on hats. Seriously, what is this? At least with Britney you know she’ll pull some stupid shit, like trying on a hat on top of a hat. My three-year-old cousin is smarter than this. Hell, the neighbor’s puppy she plays with on weekends is smarter than this.

A ton more of Britney Spears and her straw hat after the jump, including one of her spilling out of her top.

Original post by Suzi

Brooke Hogan was spotted in her sports bra on Lincoln Road in Miami. I’ve never seen somebody sucking in so hard before in my entire life. Which is completely unnecessary since nobody is expecting her to be skinny or feminine. She’s Hulk Hogan’s daughter. As long as she doesn’t weigh 300lbs and grow a beard she’ll be considered a success.

Original post by Suzi

Nice eye liner there, Paris. My only recommendation would be to consider using makeup next time, and not permanent marker.

Original post by Suzi

Courtney Love is denying the rumors she lost weight through gastric-band surgery. She writes on her website:

i couldnt get that suregry iof i begged for it
FDA says you have to have a BMI of above 40 and that equals at least being 100 pounds overweight at least other wsie its ILLEGAL.
I know spmeone who troed to get that shit and no dr would give it to her an dhse was pudgier than i was, its total utter shite, i lost weightthe hard way and people cant accept it,whwnever ANYONE loses weight by determintaion and grit fast its suspect i got muyinspirationf rom Oprah losing so much weight on Slim Fast,. thats how i did it, thio sis nonsesne my breath is great and i dont “vomit inot a towel” it sjust cynical crazy bullshit,
i started weight training three days go to get rid of the saggy ass and loose tummy i pln on hving perrrfect six pack by summer, and be extra strong so when i play shows ill be strong nd not weak,
Thizs is bullshit as is the tummy tuck rumour or the 200k in liopo rumpur ( you dont lose eoght all over from lipo) ( noone loses more than 15 lbs from lipo ever they “resculpt”) thi sisjust nnoying gross BULLSHIT. from people who cant lose wieght through ld fashioned discipline but dont think for second if it was legal i wouldnt think bout it sure i would but losing ll you rintesines doesnt appeal to me and im ton macro so i dont get cancer ( i kno wthe smnoking hs to go) banding s supposed to up your vchances for colon cancer as well as other terroble health problems,
again this is BULLSHIT. i worked my ss off and m always fucking hingry though ive gotten used to it, bno dr in the world would give me gastric bypass or gastric banding i dont meet the pproval of ny western country , it would be illegal and im[ossible fvor me to find dr to perform this surgery on me.
zso thats THAT.
Jealous Cynical people who anta cceopt that somneone cn lose alot of weight the old fshioned wy ive exercised mya ss off obv iously not enough in my stomach but xdone tons and tons aof cardio, so enough said on this nonsense jealous cynical lie.
good night.

I thought Lindsay Lohan had trouble writing, but this is ridiculous. It’s like somebody moved around the keys on her keyboard and then punched her really hard in the head right before she started typing. How is this supposed to convince anybody of anything? It’s like she was trying to type with her face.

Original post by Suzi

At a gig last night, Pete Doherty confirmed he and Kate Moss are engaged when he dedicated a song to her and referred to her as his fiance. Which is basically the only explanation for this picture taken afterwards. If I just realized I was engaged to Pete Doherty I’d try to jump out a window too. Although I probably wouldn’t do it backwards while smoking. When failure means having to marry Pete Doherty, you better make sure you get the job done. Like have somebody shoot you as you’re falling and then push a piano out the window after you.

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Original post by Suzi

Joe Francis is having a really bad week. First he was arrested on Tuesday for criminal contempt, then on Wednesday he was indicted for tax evasion, and now he’s being charged with bribing a jail guard and possessing prescription medications in his cell.

According to court records in Florida, Francis offered the guard $100 for a bottle of water on Wednesday evening. When guard turned him down, Francis showed him $500, investigators said. Jail inmates are not allowed to have cash. Supervisors then searched Francis’s cell and discovered 16 prescription medications, including Lunesta - a sleeping pill - and the anti-anxiety medication lorazepam, court records show … He wept as his mother blew him a kiss as he was led from a federal court room back to his cell.

That has to be the saddest bribe in the history of bribes. $500 for a bottle of water? Other prisoners are trying to score drugs and weapons, and this guy wants a bottle of water. He might as well put flowers in his hair and wear a sign on his back that says ‘Insert Here’ with an arrow pointing down.

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Original post by Suzi

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were eating at Mastro’s restaurant in Beverly Hills, but when they tried to leave they couldn’t get their vintage car to start in front of all the photographers. Although that doesn’t really explain the look on Katie Holmes’ face. I don’t even know what that look is. It’s not embarrassment or humiliation, it’s “I’m transforming into a scarecrow!”

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Original post by Suzi