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Jessica Simpson was spotted bar hopping in Hollywood, apparently wearing Paris Hilton’s new bra. Only her massive breasts must’ve been too much to handle because her right nipple was fighting its way out. Like Paris, though, Jessica’s cleavage is the only thing that’s saving her here. Her face looks rough as hell. At first I thought it was a Jessica Simpson look-alike. And then I thought it was a gorilla. And then I thought it was Dr. Phil. But to be fair, I had gotten bored of looking at her and was watching TV instead. And by TV I mean porn. Yeah, that’s right, hot Dr. Phil porn. Chica-bow-wow.

One hundred million billion more pictures after the jump. A few are slightly NSFW so tread carefully.

Original post by Suzi

Britney Spears was spotted at Parc over the weekend flashing her panties. And apparently instead of showing up in clothes she decided she’d tape a window curtain to herself. Classy and economical. Just like that tuxedo I made out of cardboard and black spray paint.

Original post by Suzi

Katie Holmes called the cops last Thursday after she spotted a pair of photographers on her way to Target and got spooked. The cops escorted her inside and trailed her as she browsed for clothes for herself and Suri.

I don’t know what’s more bizarre, that she got local cops to escort her shopping, or that she shops for clothes at Target. Or that she wears stilts when she goes out for coffee. Seriously, what the hell is going on here? It’s like her life went from being circus-like to literally becoming a circus. She probably goes home to a giant orange tent where she and Tom Cruise practice trapeze acts.

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Original post by Suzi

Splash News

Paris Hilton and her new boytoy Josh Henderson, were spotted at Saddle Ranch getting dinner. And I thnk I finally figured out why she’s trying so hard to inflate her boobs. Either she got mistaken for a dude one too many times or she finally bought a mirror and saw her face. When she’s not wearing her magic bra, people on the street probably think they’re a gay couple. And when she does wear her magic bra, uh, people still think they’re a gay couple. Seriously, what’s up with this Josh Henderson character? His name says man but his face says pretty daffodil girl.

Original post by Suzi

Splash News

John Travolta is getting senile in his old age and says he’s as big a star as Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe, but didn’t die like them because of his values and religion. He says:

“I have fame on the level of a Marilyn Monroe or an Elvis, but part of the reason I didn’t go the way they did was because of my beliefs. People make judgments about it [Scientology], but often they don’t know what they’re talking about. I would advise anyone who wants to know about it to read up on it. We [the Church of Scientology] are only getting bigger and we help people all over the world, from disaster zones to drug rehabilitation. We were having a problem in Germany [where some critics called Scientology a money-making entity rather than a religion]. I talked to [former president Bill] Clinton who talked to Chancellor Kohl and things have improved since then.”

John Travolta believing in anything is the exact reason why I don’t. On my list of most horrifying things, becoming John Travolta is number one. I wear a bracelet that says WWJTD, and whenever I’m about to do something I think, “Would John Travolta do this?” And if he would, I do the exact opposite. Which works well for things like believing in Scientology, but I haven’t had a cup of water in over eight years.

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Original post by Suzi

On her personal blog, Pamela Anderson addresses these bikini pictures from Hawaii, laughing at herself and saying she thought she looked hotter in her own mind. She writes:

I’ve just been sent some pics from Hawaii - I have to laugh - well at least the world knows I don’t get botox - ha!…I’m much hotter in my mind - (I swear I look better) - then again I hardly check a mirror before I go outside - may start doing that more. I may have to start working out too though - genes and gymnastics have gotten me this far. I just refuse to let these paparazzi ruin my time or my lifestyle in general with my children - I’m not going to spend time putting makeup on or staying covered up on the beach - it’s definitely surreal though - I think I look alright but everywhere you turn you have a camera in your face - up you butt - it’s crazy - too many tabloids - must be running out of stuff to print…I’m a semi-retired single mom - hello?

I didn’t even realize the pictures were unflattering. Other than the deformed boobs she looks pretty decent for a 39-year-old. And me? Well I look spectacular for a 104-year-old. I’m going to live forever!

Original post by Suzi

She is sexy and raunchy when it comes to her appearance but Jessica Alba is not much sure how her violin lessons that she is taking for her next film The Eye, in which she plays the role of a blind violinist. “All the notes are accurate…but it sounds like a cat in heat” says the actress describing her act of playing the violin.

Original post by axe