Paris Hilton’s cell mate has been selected and it’s an inmate currently doing time for reckless driving. Additionally, the jailers have already have a “written protocol” put together especially for Paris Hilton’s stay, detailing “when and how things should be done for her.” TMZ reports:

Jailers were looking for someone who they believe will not try to cash in on Hilton’s stay. The woman is already in the cell that Paris will be in … jailers are already conducting searches of anything electronic — they are prohibiting cameras, cellphones and the like … a memo has gone out to the staff, warning them that anyone who takes pictures of Paris will be disciplined — i.e., fired.

They wrote up a special protocol for me when I was in jail too, but that was basically for the safety of everybody else. When God gives you lethal killing machines for fists, it’s only natural that other people are a little nervous around you. And also that you fight for justice and say things like “Head’s up” as you punch off somebody’s head.

Original post by Suzi

Turns out Lindsay Lohan’s boyfriend Calum Best is every bit the winner you thought he was. Last Wednesday he was taped snorting cocaine in a London hotel room with two hookers he had hired. The Sun reports:

The TV Love Island hunk was videoed during a frenzy of drug-fuelled depravity lasting three hours. Sex toys and a cat-o’-nine-tails whip were used as he: SNORTED lines of cocaine off a glass table while the naked vice girls looked on.LICKED the Class A drug off one hooker’s body and let both women pleasure him at once — before romping with each in turn. SHOUTED at one of them to “take a f*****g line” as drugs were laid out … Then he dropped his pants as the girls — who used a rolled-up banknote to snort coke off a glass table — simultaneously pleasured him. Calum necked vodka and wine as he switched partners or romped with both. Gripped by lust he used his mobile phone to film a girl pleasuring him — just as he did with MICK JAGGER’s daughter JADE. After nearly three hours the girls asked a complaining Calum to leave — only for him to demand they should “learn some manners”.

If a love of cocaine is as good a foundation for a relationship as I think it is, then these two are destined to be together forever. Seriously though, Lindsay Lohan couldn’t pick a worse guy even if she tried. She could ask out a pirate trying to stab her and he’d make a better boyfriend.

Original post by Suzi

Yesterday, Britney Spears posted a message to her fans blaming everybody else for her problems and saying she didn’t need to go to rehab because she didn’t have an alcohol problem. But just two nights before on Sunday, she allegedly partied so hard at the Mondrian Hotel’s Sky Bar she had to be carried out of the men’s restroom where she was found vomiting uncontrollably and unable to walk. The Sun reports:

She was overheard telling hotel staff: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Things aren’t going well for me at the moment.” The troubled pop princess, who spent a month in rehab earlier this year, was then carried out of the bar sobbing and covered in sick.

A source adds:

“Britney was found slumped over the toilet bowl with make-up smeared over her face and her wig hanging off. She had a room booked at the hotel but was too ill to stay and was begging her bodyguard to take her home. She looked a real mess and was sitting on the floor with her head over the bowl throwing up. There was vomit down the front of her black dress and around her mouth. Britney was on her knees and must have been sick four or five times. She didn’t really seem with it, but I don’t know if she was drunk or not.” The mother-of-two then had to be helped out of the hotel because she couldn’t stand up by herself.

Notice the hat and ring? That’s a good role model for her kids right there. They’d probably be better off if she just tied them to a donkey and left them in the woods. Hell, they’d receive better parenting from the inside of an oven. That was on. And filled with bees.

Original post by Suzi

If you ever wondered how a proper party invitation should look, look no further. Nicole Richie sent the following email invitation for a Memorial Day party she co-hosted Sunday night.

From: Nicole Richie

Subject: Masha and Nicole’s Memorial Day Party

My fellow Americans its that time of year
To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer
Let’s stand together as one, live the American dream
Take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems
Let’s glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans
Even though we have no fucking clue what Memorial Day really means!!

There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!

This is the same party Mischa Barton attended where she mixed her drugs and alcohol and, according to an insider, “was rolling around on the ground… and then suddenly she began screaming that she was dying.” She then passed out and was taken to Sherman Oaks Hospital. So yeah, basically the classiest party ever thrown. I’m surprised the Monopoly Man didn’t attend.

Original post by Suzi

Wilmer Valderrama and Kevin Federline were spotted partying together in Las Vegas over the weekend, and the two hit it off so well K-Fed invited Fez to collaborate with him on his next album.

The new BFFs “chilled out together and insisted on rapping along to every song played … K-Fed invited Wilmer to be involved with his next album.” Britney’s baby-daddy even had a nifty new trick to foil the paparazzi at Heineken’s Thirst Studio Global Sessions. “He had a little flashlight he would shine in cameras so they couldn’t get any shots.”

This might be the greatest partnership since peanut better and jelly. Assuming, of course, that peanut butter and jelly were douchebags with no careers. I guess they could, like, hold meetings and discuss their goatees. Maybe braid each other’s hair and have pillow fights? And at the end of the day they can fall asleep in each other’s arms while reminiscing about better times, trying to be brave for each other as a single tear rolls down their cheek.

Source

Original post by Suzi

Beyonce is sure keeping up her pace with Shakira. Almost at the same time when Shakira was about to give a thunderstorm performance in Mexico, Beyonce had already given an action pact performance in Madrid.

Crowd at Palacio de los Deportes in Madrid was wooed by the bootylicious singer. She performed on Saturday night for two hours and was focused on her new album from “B-Day”. So it doesn’t matter if she can speak Spanish or not…her energy speaks it all.

Original post by axe

X17online

Shanna Moakler wrote a post on her MySpace yesterday taking a jab at Lindsay Lohan and then going into an attack on Paris Hilton. She writes:

HERES A TIP….

When you making 8 million dollars a film…..HIRE A DRIVER!!

I’ve been getting a lot of letters asking my thoughts on recent events, so here it goes…. I know a lot of people think karma is going around and yeah I guess it might be, but to me..this is far from karma, if anything people like Paris love this shit, walking out of a court house to be met by a bevy of paparzzi like princess diana…carrying the bible around…loves it! Karma will be the day she’s married and has kids and her husband goes and fucks a 22 yr old and knocks her up. I don’t find happiness in others when they are down, but I sure in hell don’t feel bad for people who play the victim constantly and are far from it. People who feel it’s their job to make people feel beneath them or take opportunities others would die for an shit on them and frankly make a mockery of. So as the penis posse goes down one by one and enters jail or rehab…I don’t really think anything of it…they just show me what I always knew and thought they were _________. ( you can fill in the blank)

I hope you are all well and as always thanks for your letters,
shannaB.xoxo

And this is Lindsay Lohan’s reponse on her alleged MySpace, which I’m not actually convinced is hers:

starkitten

im going to keep this simple and brief, like her career

for someone who “doesn’t really think anything of it” sure had a mouth load to say. don’t blame “young hollywood” for your FUCKED UP relationships you old haggard. maybe if you fixed yourself up a little bit, you wouldnt be so jealous of others. you know, a nice face/breast lift, lost a couple pounds (40), got rid of the paris haircut, and found yourself a decent looking boytoy you wouldn’t be so depressed and feel the need to comment on other peoples lifes that you dont know.

p.s. your kids are ugly.

Just in case you had any doubt that Hollywood is just slightly less mature than junior high. They might as well be accusing each other of having cooties here. And then one of them would be all, “Oh no you did not just brought it.” And then the other would be like, “Oh yes I did just broughted it.” And then they’d make a movie about it and it’d be awesome. Word.

Original post by Suzi