Britney Spears was spotted in Hawaii with her kids and this is apparently the first “clear” shot of Jayden James Federline. I’m assuming he’s the one without the super wedgie, but all kids look the same so who knows. And I don’t know what happened since these pictures, but it’s hard to even comprehend that this ass and this ass are from the same person. The first one could be of a gun shot victim and it’d look more related. Slightly less horrifying too.

Original post by Suzi

An attorney for Paris Hilton issued the following statement today on behalf of Paris:

“I want to thank the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department and staff of the Century Regional Detention Center for treating me fairly and professionally. I am going to serve the remaining 40 days of my sentence. I have learned a great deal from this ordeal and hope that others have learned from my mistakes.”

There’s a lot of words you’d use to describe Paris Hilton’s treatment by the legal system but ‘fair’ wouldn’t be one of them. They could’ve sent her to Disneyland for a week and it would’ve been more fair than what she got.

Original post by Suzi

Kim Kardashian was spotted leaving Koi posing like, uh, this. Look, I’ll admit she’s hot because, well, she’s hot. But what the hell is this? If you want to know why men don’t respect women for their minds it’s because of shit like this. I can understand posing for the paparazzi and maybe sticking your tushy out a little, but she’s like doing a full on squat here. She could be wearing a hamburger for a hat and she’d look less ridiculous. Mmm, twice as tasty though.

Original post by Suzi

So apparently Paris Hilton’s medical condition was purely psychological and she was released from prison because she was in danger of having a nervous breakdown. TMZ reports:

Psychiatrist Charles Sophy visited Hilton in jail yesterday and the day before. We’re told after Sophy’s visit yesterday, word was passed to the Sheriff that Hilton’s mental state was fragile and she was at risk. The reason for releasing her had nothing to do with a rash or other physical issues. It was purely in her head.

Jesus fucking Christ. So the big medical reason that got Paris Hilton released was that she wasn’t happy in prison. Which, I always thought, was sort of the whole point. Was she expecting to ride on unicorns and dance under waterfalls? It’s fucking prison. I’m pretty sure the inmates who get daily anal rapings are pretty upset too, but nobody’s letting them go home. The moral of the story is: if you’re ever put in prison just put on a frowny face and they’ll let you go. Oh, and make sure you’re Paris Hilton.

Original post by Suzi

In another of many great decisions, Britney Spears is reportedly dating her drug counselor, John Sundahl. He was recommended to Spears by somebody at the Promises rehab facility, but when she visited his house in Beverly Hills to discuss how she’d stay sober, they ended up sticking their tongues into each other’s mouths. A source says: “Britney and John ended up making out beside the pool — and Britney acted like she didn’t care who saw her. She’s got no shame.”

Nothing says class like making out with your drug counselor in public. And what the hell kind of drug counselor is this? I know counselors who meet with patients in an open robe and leopard print thong and they seem more professional than this guy.

Original post by Suzi

TMZ reports Paris Hilton was released from jail early this morning after serving less than five days of her already reduced 23 day sentence (her original sentence was 45 days). She’s been fitted with an ankle bracelet and put under house arrest for the next 40 days. She was apparently released from jail due to medical reasons, although the LA County Sheriff’s department has refused to release details about the “medical issue” due to confidentiality. After the 40 days are up, the LA County Sheriff’s department says she will have “fulfilled her debt to society.”

Of course. We were fucking morons to think Paris might actually serve out her sentence. Tomorrow they’ll probably take off the ankle bracelet and issue a full apology. Then give her some sort of medal and make her President of the United States of America.

NOTE: Since when has being rich and famous been considered a medical condition? Weird.

Original post by Suzi

Akon is claiming through his attorney that he didn’t do anything wrong when he picked up the 15-year-old boy at the KFEST concert and threw him off stage. The Poughkeepsie Journal reports:

“Given the information that we have reviewed to date, it does not appear to us that Akon was involved in any criminal conduct whatsoever,” said a statement released by Akon’s Manhattan-based attorney, Benjamin Brafman, through Dan Klores Communications in New York City, a public relations firm. “We are prepared to fully cooperate with any law enforcement agency that may be investigating this incident. We are confident that after a thorough investigation it will be apparent that no criminal prosecution of Akon is warranted.”

What the hell is wrong with famous people? Do they really have no concept of responsibility? Akon could drive his car through a person’s home and run over their grandma and not even notice. There’d be an old woman lying dying under his tires and he’d just park his car at IHOP and grab some breakfast.

Original post by Suzi