
Paris Hilton flew to Hawaii after her Larry King interview and arrived in Maui yesterday wearing a straw hat, sunglasses, and a black wig. I’m assuming this is part of her campaign to reinvent herself as Smart Paris. Except everything she knows she learned from elementary school jokes, so she doesn’t quite realize it takes more than changing your hair color to be taken seriously. She’ll always be Paris Hilton. She could win the Nobel Prize in physics and every time you ran into her on the street you’d still feel the uncontrollable need to pee on her.
Original post by Suzi

Kevin Federline is refusing to sign his divorce papers because he’s concerned about Britney Spears’ recent behavior, and wants proof Britney is able to handle joint custody of their children. A source tells People:
“Britney’s attorneys are anxious to see Kevin sign off on a divorce. But Kevin and his lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan are dragging their heels out of concern over reports of Britney’s post-rehab partying. [Federline] wants to make sure that the divorce document makes it simple enough for Kevin to downsize Britney’s access to her kids the next time her behavior troubles him.”
You know you’re in a bad place when Kevin Federline is concerned about your parenting skills. If you went to Britney Spears’ house you’d probably find one of the kids tucked under a table leg to keep it from wobbling.
Original post by Suzi

22-year-old pop singer Lily Allen was arrested yesterday after allegedly attacking a photographer outside a London nightclub back in March. She went to a London police station yesterday morning by appointment and was arrested, but then released on bail. A Scotland Yard spokeswoman confirms:
“At 9.30am yesterday, a 21-year-old woman attended a central London police station by appointment. She was arrested in connection with an allegation of assault. She has been bailed to return on a date in late July.”
I’m not that familiar with Lily Allen, but it’s always amusing when a tiny little girl beats up a photographer in his 40’s. I know the paparazzi aren’t that awesome to begin with, but I’m pretty sure this guy is required by law to turn in his testicles. And Lily? Well she’s required by law to get in my bed. Man, that’s an attractive face!
Original post by Suzi
A man is suing the American government over a traffic accident that involved an unlikely pair of vehicles - his luxury Italian sports car, and a light aircraft piloted by a group of FBI agents.
Marlowe Treit could hardly believe his eyes when the propellor from the Cessna aeroplane mangled the driver’s side of the black 1985 Lamborghini in the bizarre accident.
Treit has now launched a lawsuit against the U.S. government because he has not been compensated for the damage to the prized car that he bought himself as a 60th birthday present in 1998.
He is accusing the pilots of negligence and seeking more than £50,000 in damages.
Two FBI agents, John Jeffries and Robert Brockmeyer, were co-piloting the plane on a “familiarisation flight,” according to an official report on the incident.
One of the agents wrote in another report that the plane was “moving down the taxiway about to enter our hangar area, moving at about a fast walk and crossing a narrow inner taxiway perpendicular to us when the aircraft crunched to a sudden stop.”
The unidentified agent added: “Out the left side window of the aircraft I saw a small black sports car dart from under the prop moving to my left, gushing fluid.”
Treit, a licensed pilot who lives in Aurora and owns a business at the airport, claims he had the right of way and that the pilot should have seen him.
But the transportation safety board determined that Treit and the agents shared blame for the wreck. Investigators said both failed “to maintain an adequate visual lookout,” which contributed to the wreck.
Treit was not injured, but his car has not been driven since.
Original post by Capri
Japanese eating champion Takeru Kobayashi is being treated for an arthritic jaw that could douse his hopes for taking a seventh straight title at the annual Independence Day hot dog eating competition on Coney Island.
Last year, the 165-pound champion won his sixth straight Yellow Mustard Belt at the Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest by devouring a then-world record 53 3/4 frankfurters in 12 minutes.
A California man broke the record earlier this month by chomping down more than 59 franks in 12 minutes.
But earlier this week, Kobayashi, 29, said on his Web site blog that his “jaw has abandoned the frontline” during his training for this year’s July 4 event.
“Already I can’t open my jaws more than just a little bit,” he wrote. “There’s no pain only if I open my mouth about enough for one finger. More than that is painful and I can’t open it.”
A specialist diagnosed him with arthritis of the jaw, he wrote.
“To tell the truth, I’m desperate about healing completely before the July 4 contest,” he said, adding that he had begun receiving treatment at a hospital and from a chiropractor.
On Tuesday, his United Food Fighters Organization said on its Web site that Kobayashi has found a doctor he can trust and was “creating an environment in which he can dedicate himself to healing.”
“The contest is coming up soon, and we’d happy if everyone kept him in their thoughts,” the group wrote.
Original post by Capri
A resourceful 78-year-old retiree saved herself and others from possible serious injuries Monday after her taxi driver suddenly died of a heart attack on the highway, police said.
The man was driving the woman on Germany’s autobahn near the northern city of Luebeck when he suddenly died, and the car careened into a guard rail.
The woman, who was in the front passenger seat, didn’t panic, but instead reached across and yanked the car out of gear, then pulled the hand brake.
The car then slowed to a stop nearly 300 yards farther along the highway. She was unharmed.
Police praised the woman for her “courageous intervention” that prevented a possible serious accident. She then got a lift home in an officer’s squad car.
Original post by Capri
Robbing a store apparently caused this suspect to work up a thirst. A 46-year-old man accused of robbing a Dollar General store at knifepoint Saturday was arrested about 15 minutes later at a bar less than a mile away. Police said he was taken into custody without incident.
The store clerk called 911 around 3:15 p.m. to report the robbery of about $200 in cash, according to Kiel Police Chief Dave Funkhouser. The clerk, who was uninjured, provided descriptions of the suspect and his vehicle, including its license plate, police said.
Officers tracked the man’s vehicle to the nearby tavern, where the suspect was sitting at the bar.
The man, who is from New Holstein, was being held Saturday night at the Manitowoc County Jail.
Kiel is in eastern Wisconsin, about 20 miles northwest of Sheboygan.
Original post by Capri