If you don’t understand why I’m posting these shots of Alessandra Ambrosio in a bikini you really don’t belong on the site. I’m not even sure if you belong on the planet. And I don’t want to perpetuate any of the unrealistic body images set by society, but if you don’t look this good in a bikini you should seriously consider life in a paper bag. Or, I dunno, amputation of the face?

NOTE: Can you believe Alessandra Ambrosio and Britney Spears were born in the same year? It’s like trying to convince me that a lion and a used sock are the same species of animal.

Original post by Suzi

Have fond childhood memories of Alvin and the Chipmunks? Want to see those memories get raped in the ass by Hollywood? Then check out the official movie poster here.

Original post by Suzi

Britney Spears already wrote a letter to the paparazzi apologizing for the umbrella incident, but she decided that wasn’t enough and posted an update to her official website with the same stupid garbage.

I apologize to the pap for a stunt that was done 4 months ago regarding an umbrella. I was preparing my character for a roll in a movie where the husband never plays his part so they switch places accidentally. I take all my rolls very seriously and got a little carried away. Unfortunately I didn’t get the part.

You’d think her second time around she’d catch her spelling mistakes or at least make sense, but you’d be wrong. My God, would you be wrong. Is she actually proud of her letter? If I was her I’d be denying I even wrote it, not posting it again on my official website. How are her managers letting this shit slide through? If you walked into their office I’m 100% sure you’d see a monkey in a suit, jumping up and down on a desk and waving a banana around.

Original post by Suzi

God help me.

NOTE: It is curious that between these pictures and these pictures she managed to put on about 20 pounds. Especially considering they were taken on the same day.

Original post by Suzi

I still don’t know who Ashley Tisdale is, but she’s still in Hawaii wearing bikinis and that’s good enough for me. Although it’s freaking me out that she’s 22-year-old and somehow manages to look 12. I’d suggest a time machine, but everybody knows the only use for a time machine is to go back in time and capture a Brontosaurus. “Ferrari, eh? Pretty nice ride. STOMP!”

Original post by Suzi

I still don’t know who Ashley Tisdale is, but she’s still in Hawaii wearing bikinis and that’s good enough for me. Although it’s freaking me out that she’s 22-year-old and somehow manages to look 12. I’d suggest a time machine, but everybody knows the only use for a time machine is to go back in time and capture a Brontosaurus. “Ferrari, eh? Pretty nice ride. STOMP!”

Original post by Suzi

Avril Laviigne is being sued by The Rubinoos who claim her song “Girlfriend” was stolen from their song “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend.” The CEO of Nettwerk Music Group dismissed the suit, calling it baseless and a “case of legal blackmail.” The CEO says:

“Avril’s a great songwriter and she’s proving it over and over and over again … Avril’s very, very sensible. She knows music well. If the chords had been similar, the melodies had been similar, lyrics had been similar, the meter, she would have gone, ‘Okay, I can see their point.’ But nothing’s similar.”

The record company may end up settling the suit anyways, since it might cost them even more to successfully defend. Although this isn’t the first time Avril has been accused of stealing. Last month, singer Chantal Kreviazuk accused Avril of stealing a song title. Additionally, the writer of “Sk8er Boi” says Lavigne shouldn’t be listed on the credits since all she did was “change a word here or there.” You can listen to the comparison above and judge for yourself. Personally, I think Avril Lavigne is a clown so in my book she’s pretty much guilty of everything. Stealing songs? Guilty! Being a man? Guilty! Murdering Jesus? Guilty!

Original post by Suzi