Hayden Panettiere, the cheerleader from Heroes, spent her weekend at the beach frolicking around with some dude. And if you thought I was kidding when I said to expect two more months of celebrity bikini pictures, I wasn’t. My God, was I wasn’t. There are two things I never joke around about. One is celebrity bikini pictures and the other is broccoli. You lose your concentration for just one second in this game and you’ll get burned. By, uh, broccoli. …What?

NOTE: I think this chick is like eight or something. If your eyes are open right now you’re probably going to jail.

UPDATE: Turns out the guy with Hayden is Stephen Colletti from Laguna Beach. Thanks to everybody for sending that in, though there’s really no reason anybody should know that.

Original post by Suzi

Brooke Hogan went to a Maui beach yesterday and showed off her body in a bikini. Which isn’t nearly as horrifying as that sounds. Although to actually be as horrifying as “Brooke Hogan in a bikini” sounds, bats would have to fly out of your monitor and claw your face.

NOTE: I have no idea if her boobs are new or not. I’ve made it a top priority in my life to spend as little time looking at Brooke Hogan’s chest as physically possible.

Original post by Suzi

After being released from jail Paris Hilton told the press, “There is so much more to life than that whole club scene.” But it’s Paris Hilton, so on Saturday she hit up Les Deux dressed like this, and was seen dancing against a wall with her arms in the air singing along to every song played, including her own single. A spy tells People:

“Paris was super happy and full of smiles,” says one clubgoer. “She was laughing, having fun, drinking, dancing, singing along to songs, talking to everyone and hugging all the girls at her table.”

Yeah, she’s an idiot, but Paris Hilton still manages to find the most amazing bras on the planet. I know what her breasts look like. You know what her breasts look like. Every person on Earth knows what her breasts look like. Yet somehow when she puts on that bra they manage to look completely different. If I was a magician I wouldn’t even have an act, I’d just pull out the bra and go “Ta daaa!” Then everybody would applaud and I’d take a bow.

Original post by Suzi

These could all just be coincidences, but friends insisted that Beyonce would be delighted to be a mom.

Beyonce Knowles may have some secret big plans in the months a
head - motherhood. According to a source, Jay-Z’s arm candy may be expecting his baby. And there are unconfirmed reports that the Irreplacable singer has been acting differently lately, with the common denominator being a possible pregnancy.

A source close to Knowles reveals, “I have a sneaking suspicion that Beyonce may be pregnant. Don’t ask me why, but she’s been doing a lot of things that are making us suspicious. All of a sudden she’s going crazy about people smoking around her. She never used to be that way, so this is really out of the blue. She doesn’t even allow Jay Z to smoke a cigar in front of her.”

And that’s not all. Apparently Beyonce is saying no to booze. Not that she was ever an excessive drinker, but now she refuses to consume any alcohol.

“Beyonce hasn’t been having anything to drink - not even champagne.”

And what’s fuelling the rumours of the stork visiting Beyonce further is the fact that Beyonce’s given up on her diet regime.

“Beyonce has given up on her diet. She used to count every single calorie that she consumed. However, now she seems to be eating whatever she wants.”

These could all just be coincidences, but friends insisted that Beyonce would be delighted to be a mom.

Original post by Suzi

Check this pic out folks… It was on the dais that Pams boobs fell of their place and she had to use her hands in full public view to hold them in place…. Huh! if that was a valid excuse…….. but what the hell is she trying to do!

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Original post by Suzi

I honestly have no idea why the paparazzi are suddenly following Alessandra Ambrosio around and I honestly don’t care. It’d be like questioning why God dropped a giant pile of cash and a Ferrari in your driveway. Just take it and run. And if you have to shoot one or two cops in the process so be it. It’s all good. Although I really don’t understand why Alessandra is making out with this guy. If you interviewed her and asked what she looks for in a man she’d answer, “Short. And ugly. He has to be short and ugly. And he has to wear a woman’s purse.” I’d be just as perplexed if I saw her making out with a telephone booth.

NOTE: I heard that when the Jaws of Life just aren’t enough, firefighters will sometimes use Alessandra’s knees instead.

Original post by Suzi

It’s summer, so I hope you’re ready for two more months of celebrity bikini shots. I’m not exactly sure when these were taken, but they’re of Mandy Moore in her bikini in Mexico. And judging by these pictures she does more than just sing about candy. Like eat it! See what I did there? Because she has a song called “Candy” but then I said that she also eats it. Because she’s fat. I did it, I’m the winner!

Original post by Suzi