James Blunt tells British GQ that his sister couldn’t get to Ireland so his solution was to sell her on eBay. He says:

“I came back to the flat where my sister was staying and she was crying because she couldn’t get to a funeral in Ireland. The planes were on strike, the ferry was out of season, and there were no trains. I ended up whacking it on eBay: ‘Damsel in distress seeks knight in shining armor! Desperate to get to a funeral in southern Ireland, please help!’ The bids flooded in and the guy who won had a helicopter. He flew her to the funeral. That was three years ago. This summer they’re getting married. That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever sold on eBay – my sister.”

And just to remind you why we hate James Blunt, he somehow managed to date this gorgeous creature, Petra Nemcova. Plus he called your mom a whore and tried to sleep with your sister. True story.

Original post by Suzi

Britney Spears has put her Beverly Hills mansion back on the market for $7.5 million and is offering it fully furnished. She first put it up for sale last February but took it down after deciding to move back in after rehab. Additionally, her Malibu house has been on sale since November. It was originally listed for $13.5 million but Britney has since lowered the price to just under $12 million.

$7.5 million for Britney’s Beverly Hills mansion fully furnished is a bargain. There’s got to be at least $2 million worth of Twinkies alone. Plus if you opened up the oven you’d probably find one of her kids. So, you know, free baby!

And since both her mansions are up for sale, Britney has been staying in a hotel in Beverly Hills, smoking her way back to stardom.

Source

Original post by Suzi

Here’s Kim Kardashian at the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Show in Miami. There’s only one website where having a giant ass qualifies as news and you’re looking at it, baby. Although I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. I guess I could put up something about President Bush. Or maybe a picture of a baby panda? I’m open to suggestions, since this is pretty much all I got. Well that, and fists registered by the government as lethal killing machines.

Original post by Suzi

A paparazzi photog was brutally attacked last night in Hollywood after the ESPY Awards and was left unconscious and convulsing on the ground (the video above is the aftermath). The fight began when two random assholes decided to act as Rumer Willis’ bodyguards as she made her way out of Skybar. TMZ reports:

According to witnesses on scene, one of the men allegedly tripped a photographer who was attempting to take pix of the star. As the stunned shutterbug got up and tried to identify the culprit, we’re told another friend of the wannabe-bodyguards grabbed the photog by the head and slammed him to the ground head first, knocking him out and causing convulsions… Cops arrived shortly after and the man who allegedly slammed the photog to the ground was arrested. The snapper was rushed to a hospital, where he was treated for three cracked ribs, a possibly dislocated shoulder and a concussion.

Yeah, sometimes the paparazzi can go too far but this is fucking ridiculous. Look at the way the attacker walks around afterwards. I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy’s parents were brother and sister. This is exactly the kind of person I’d expect if people started mating with vegetables.

Original post by Suzi

Paris Hilton visited the Ole Henrickson Spa on Tuesday, and afterwards showed off her new shirt, which happens to be a Warhol-inspired design of her own face. I guess this would be weird if it was anybody except Paris Hilton. If a regular person walks down the street wearing a picture of their own face they get punched in the stomach and thrown in a dumpster. Paris Hilton does it and she gets $2 million and the key to the city.

Original post by Suzi

OK! magazine has paid $400,000 for the Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo sex photos from their vacation in Mexico. You’ll probably never see them though, since the celebrity-friendly magazine allegedly bought the photos to take them off the market. A source tells Gatecrasher:

“There’s much worse stuff than what got out there on the Internet,” says a snitch. “If Nick’s fans saw it all, it would definitely change his career, because he kind of has a squeaky-clean image.”

I’m pretty sure Nick Lachey doesn’t have a “squeaky-clean image”. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have an image at all. You sort of have to be famous to have an image, and if he did, it’d be “retarded ape” not “squeaky-clean.” Yeah, the sex pictures would change his career, by maybe giving him one. Right now he’s only famous for being married to Jessica Simpson. It’s like being known in high school as that kid who ate the live worms. You’re a star!

Original post by Suzi

Madonna tried going incognito to Justin Timberlake’s concert in London recently by hiding under a black cape. The Scoop reports:

“She was texting on her mobile, eating crisps and yawning just before the show began!” according to one fan report. Madonna was wearing a black hooded cape and was surrounded by bodyguards. “When everyone realized it was her and started chanting ‘Madonna!’ she put the hood on and went under the seat.”

Only a celebrity would think hiding under a black cape is a disguise. Most people put on wigs and sunglasses, but not Madonna. No, she dresses like Batman. I’m surprised she didn’t have a blinking neon sign around her neck that flashed, “I’m Madonna.” That was probably Plan B.

These pictures are completely unrelated, I just thought Madonna’s cleavage was neat.

Original post by Suzi