Janice Dickinson was spotted on a Malibu beach in her bikini looking pretty amazing for a 93-year-old. She is 93 right? 130? I mean, most mummies I see are wrapped in bandages and have purple flesh, so she’s doing pretty okay for herself. Besides, her driver’s license photo looks like this. And that’s worth an automatic one million bonus points right there.

NOTE: I can’t tell if this is her boyfriend, husband, or dad. What I can tell, however, is that he’s a Grade A fox.

Original post by Suzi

Penelope Cruz and her sister Monica Cruz spent the week in Ibiza debuting their Autumn/Winter fashion collection which they were hired to design for fashion brand Mango. Which nobody actually cares about, I just wanted an excuse to post these pictures of them in their bikinis. And you know what else I want an excuse to do? Uppercut a baby panda in the jaw. Those sons of bitches think they’re so cute. Who’s cute now?!

Original post by Suzi

I’ve seen pregnant women before, but Naomi Watts is out of control. If I didn’t know she was pregnant I would’ve guessed she was faking it. And faking it poorly. I wonder how she felt when she got her ultrasound and found out she was giving birth to a traffic cone.

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Original post by Suzi

Britney Spears was spotted on the set of her new music video for “Get Back” dressed like this. Although I can’t figure out why she keeps trying to show us her ass. I think she’s actually proud of it, like a six-year old who draws a picture of a dog and wants to hang it on the wall, but really it looks like somebody puked crayon on a sheet of paper. And it’s not like anybody can say anything to Britney’s face, because you’re not allowed to make fun of the mentally challenged. Society will judge you.

Original post by Suzi

Lindsay Lohan was supposed to start filming on “Poor Things” once she got out of rehab, but apparently the producer pulled the plug on the film because Lindsay’s behavior in Las Vegas over the weekend worried insurers. GE and Dell were promised placement in the movie but got an email from the set designer saying:

‘Poor Things’ has been cancelled

Sorry to be the harbinger of bad news, but I just received a call from Jacky Gilardi, the producer, pulling the plug on the ill-fated film.

Apparently, Ms. Lohan’s antics in Las Vegas over the weekend have scared the bond companies and all of the funding has been pulled … I look forward to working together in the future and trust our next project will not be as fraught with difficulty.

I’d be worried about financing a film with Lindsay Lohan too. Halfway through filming she’d end up crashing her car through the set and driving over half the cast. Then she’d stumble out of the car and point her finger at everybody, telling them to act cool. Then she’d point to her cartoonishly large alcohol monitoring anklet (which nobody actually checks) and go, “See guys. I’m wearing this. This means I dinin’ haf anything to drink. Nod even one drop.” Then she’d curl up on the floor and fall asleep, with three people dead under her car and everybody else standing in a circle with their mouths open.

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Original post by Suzi

Lindsay Lohan quietly turned herself into the Beverly Hills Police Department station late yesterday afternoon to be officially arrested for her DUI back in May. She was held in custody for about an hour and then released on $30,000 bail. TMZ reports:

Lohan was charged with driving with a blood alcohol level greater than .08 and misdemeanor hit and run, this according to the Beverly Hills PD… The actress was released on her own recognizance, routine for a first time DUI offense. For now, Lohan is scheduled to be back in court on August 24.

And what does any of this have to do with these shots of Lindsay Lohan walking around braless with her massive boobs in a tank top? Probably nothing. But maybe everything.

Original post by Suzi