It sort of defeats the purpose of a bra when your nipples are made from solid diamond. No, wait, not diamond. The stuff they use to cut diamond. And it’s probably not good for Queen Latifah’s self esteem to be running into Victoria Beckham. It’d be like Lindsay Lohan running into Stephen Hawking. Or a NASA scientist. Or a cat pawing at a ball of yarn.

Original post by Suzi

I’m not going to say anything mean about these pictures of Dakota Fanning because she’s only 13-years-old and honesty is only reserved for adults. Well that, and I’m actually a little scared of her. If it was dark and I saw her walking towards me on the street I wouldn’t even think, I’d just throw my keys at her and run.

One more shot of Dakota Fanning after the jump.

NOTE: Was that mean? Was what I said mean? I didn’t mean it to be. Oh God, she’s in my closet isn’t she? *Runs out of the room screaming*

Original post by Suzi

Britney Spears took her kids to Las Vegas yesterday and Kevin Federline is pissed about it because she’s not allowed to bring their kids out of state without his permission. Not only that, while in Vegas, Britney’s bodyguard beat up a photographer outside the Wynn when he accidentally bumped into one of her children. The photographer was shooting Spears when her bodyguard shoved him in the chest and the photographer accidentally hit Sean Preston in the process. The bodyguard then tackled the man to the ground and started punching him. Wynn security asked everybody to leave and the Las Vegas police were brought in to take statements. The police issued the following statement:

“A second Incident Crime Report was also filed by Ms. Spears on behalf of her minor child. In that report it was alleged that prior to the above incident a second photographer, identified as Kyle Henderson, battered both Mr. Camera and Ms. Spears’ child , who was at that time being held by the security officer.”

So basically the bodyguard shoved the photographer into Sean Preston and then beat him up for bumping into him. And then Britney Spears filed battery charges against the guy. I don’t like defending the paparazzi, but come on. Why not break a bat over his head and then sue him for property damage? Or shoot him in the face with a gun and then accuse him of stealing your bullet.

Original post by Suzi

Nicole Richie pleaded guilty to driving under the influence of drugs and was sentenced to serve four days in her choice of city or county jail. She was credited the fifth day for the six hours she served after being arrested. She was also fined $2,048 and ordered to complete a 21 day alcohol education course, and to serve three years probation.

The sentence sounds fair enough, but that 21 day alcohol education course is a complete waste. This is Nicole Richie we’re talking about. She’d learn just as much if you put on a puppet show for an hour and a half.

Original post by Suzi

TMZ has interviews with three men Lindsay Lohan allegedly took hostage during the wild car chase that led to her DUI arrest Tuesday morning. The three men were invited to a Malibu party by Lindsay because they were friends with her former assistant’s boyfriend, but ended up involved in the car chase when Lindsay decided to borrow their car. After Lindsay’s former assistant told her she quit, Lindsay started “raging” and jumped in their car which they were waiting to leave in. As she started driving, one of the passengers jumped out scared and she ran over his foot. They say Lindsay was driving 100 mph and when she caught up with the assistant she began doing circles on PCH around the assistant’s car, at one point saying, “I can’t get in trouble. I’m a celebrity. I can do whatever the fuck I want.” One of the passengers says he tried to grab the wheel, but Lindsay responded, “If you touch me I’ll sue you.” TMZ reports:

Dante realized the mother was driving to the police station and warned Lindsay if she didn’t stop she’d get in hot water. He says Lindsay responded, “I’m a celebrity. I’m not going to get in trouble.”

The two cars stopped in a parking lot near the cop shop. When police arrived, Dante says it seemed as if Lindsay told officers, “I wasn’t driving. The black kid was driving.”

Dante and Jakon say they saw Lindsay flunk the field sobriety test. They say when she tried touching her nose, she almost fell over.

I want to believe these clowns - man, do I want to - but their story sounds ridiculous and I’m pretty sure they won’t be receiving their Mensa memberships anytime soon. I’m surprised they didn’t say Lindsay was chasing the car on foot and waving a machine gun over her head.

Check out the rest of the video clips after the jump.

Original post by Suzi

Nicole Richie will do time for her DUI arrest back in December and is currently in court right now to either plead guilty or no contest. According to the law she’ll receive a minimum sentence of five days in jail. Keep in mind Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days and all she did was violate probation and drive on a suspended license. Nicole Richie was high and driving on the wrong side of a freeway. Which means if she gets the same judge she’ll end up in a zoo or something.

Original post by Suzi