NFL quarterback Michael Vick is facing federal charges for allegedly participating in illegal dogfighting, and now he’s being hit with a “$63,000,000,000 billion dollar” lawsuit filed by South Carolina inmate Jonathan Lee Riches, who says Michael stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to buy “missiles from Iran.” Fox News reports:

The complaint also alleges that Vick would need those missiles because he pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year.

“Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes,” Riches writes in the complaint.

Riches wants $63 billion dollars “backed by gold and silver “ delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina. Riches is an inmate at the facility serving out a wire fraud conviction.

Oh yeah, did I mention the lawsuit was written by hand? Because it’s written by hand. And I’m not a lawyer, but this Jonathan Lee Riches sounds like he’s got a rock solid case. Michael Vick better start saving, because “$63 billion dollars backed by gold and silver “ is kind of a lot of money. I don’t want to brag, but I’m pretty good with numbers.

Original post by Suzi

I don’t know what’s going on in these pictures of Anne Hathaway vacationing in Italy, but it looks really inappropriate. Well, if you consider giving your boyfriend a blowjob in front of his friends inappropriate. But really why would you? Huh, grandma? Are you some sort of prude? Maybe you’d be happier if she was wearing a one piece and covering up with a towel? Man, you old geezers are so out of touch. This is what kids do these days. They have sex in public. They also kick defenseless pets, murder babies, and break into your home to do drugs right on your bed. And it’s all because of video games.

A ton more of Anne Hathaway being a great girlfriend after the jump.

NOTE: I can’t actually tell if she’s giving him a blowjob, but their positioning and his expression speak volumes. Plus I like making stuff up about complete strangers with absolutely no proof. So there’s also that.

Original post by Suzi

We’ve done some digging around and the pop-ups are most likely coming from spyware you probably got from another site and already have installed on your system. For some reason this site happens to trigger the spyware, but we’ve gone through and are almost positive you didn’t get it from here. If you’re still experiencing pop-ups, download Spybot Search & Destroy (Mac users can try MacScan though I can’t vouch for it), run it, and that should remove the spyware from your system and stop the pop-ups.

NOTE: It’s possible a malicious ad slipped in from one of our third party ad providers, but it seems unlikely since none of our staff has ever gotten it and we’re on the site the most. Plus, some of you are reporting you haven’t gotten the pop-up since the last time we posted about it, but we haven’t changed a single thing on our end.

Original post by Suzi

We’ve done some digging around and the pop-ups are most likely coming from spyware you probably got from another site and already have installed on your system. For some reason this site happens to trigger the spyware, but we’ve gone through and are almost positive you didn’t get it from here. If you’re still experiencing pop-ups, download Spybot Search & Destroy (Mac users can try MacScan though I can’t vouch for it), run it, and that should remove the spyware from your system and stop the pop-ups.

NOTE: It’s possible a malicious ad slipped in from one of our third party ad providers, but it seems unlikely since none of our staff has ever gotten it and we’re on the site the most. Plus, some of you are reporting you haven’t gotten the pop-up since the last time we posted about it, but we haven’t changed a single thing on our end.

Original post by Suzi

Kim Kardashian is denying rumors she got butt implants and blames her curves on being Armenian, though she also mentions that she isn’t against plastic surgery. She tells King magazine:

“Everyone now says I have a fake butt or butt implant. I’m Armenian; you should see all the women in my family. The women have bigger breasts and bigger butts. That’s how I was born. I can’t help it. I’m not gonna fight it. I definitely need to work out more and tone up, but I’m proud of my body… [although] I’m not against [plastic surgery].”

And here’s some photos Kim did for Complex magazine. Although they don’t quite capture just how massive her ass really is. I guess they couldn’t afford a big enough lens. It actually looks like they airbrushed her ass down one or eighteen sizes. I guess printing it actual size would use up all the trees of the world. And yeah, maybe that doesn’t make any sense, but maybe you don’t make any sense. Ever thought about that?

Original post by Suzi

Since Paris Hilton’s singing and acting career haven’t quite taken off, she’s back to trying to make money by appearing at events. A Las Vegas insider tells Page Six:

“Paris and [sister] Nicky are shopping their partying ways to Vegas at the price of around $500,000 - only they have the guts to ask for that amount - for a multiple-day New Year’s Eve bash. Paris will ‘party’ at a few spots and Nicky will bless the lucky host with a fashion show of her wares and model herself.” Our source says only Pure - which is so starved for publicity that it tried to host Lindsay Lohan’s 21st birthday and asked Britney Spears to show up - “may be coming all the way up to the asking price, although [the Hiltons] are so desperate now, they should be paying the clubs for good p.r., not the other way around.” Last year, Paris was demanding a mere $100,000 to host a New Year’s Eve bash.

If you’re paying Paris Hilton $500,000 to show up at your event you really need to reexamine your job qualifications. And math skills. And, well, it wouldn’t hurt if you wore a helmet all day.

Original post by Suzi

Britney Spears’ old nannies are coming forward with stories about Britney, and apparently before Jayden was born, Britney would regularly ask one of her nannies to sleep in the same bed as her and Sean. Additionally, Britney would also drink around her kids and strip down in front of staff and nannies. A former staffer tells Us:

“At first, the drinks would help her loosen up and not be so angry. But she’d inevitably drink too much and be out of it, at which point the nannies would take care of the kids.”

And multiple sources confirm Spears’ exhibitionist streak: “She’ll strip down in front of staff, nannies, whomever,” says one. “She’ll ask, ‘Do I look sexy? Do I look pretty?’ She’s extremely insecure.”

As former caretakers tell Us, being on the Spears payroll requires much more than childcare experience. “She just cares about whether they’re young and fun and like to drink and party,” says a source: “She hires people to be her friends.”

It was funny at first, but now I actually feel sorry for her. If she hadn’t made $100 gazillion when she was younger, she’d probably be stripping or in porn right now. Which sounds funny, but, well, yeah I guess that is kind of funny. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, yesterday I had ice cream!

Original post by Suzi