40-year-old Pamela Anderson hung out with Rick Solomon at Malibu beach yesterday looking weathered as hell. And I can’t figure out if she’s still hot or not. On the one hand her boobs are still huge. On the other hand she’s turning into Gollum. So, you know, it’s basically like flipping a coin.

More of Pamela Anderson looking confusing after the jump.

Original post by Suzi

Set aside the fact that I’m a dynamo in the sack, and, okay, the public park. And any dressing room in an average U.S. retail store. Alright, bottom line, I’m the Messiah of Doing It. Regardless of that obvious and verifiable fact, I’m absolutely certain Keira Knightley would crumble into a fine powder after I gave her my sermon and a mount. I wish more women would follow her example. Hey, thanks for the sex, and oh, awesome, you’re a pile of dust. Where’s my vacuum?

Original post by Suzi

Zac Efron says his decision to make High School Musical 3 will be decided by the script and not the money. Zac talks to People about his feelings on a third installment:

“There’s so many rumors and speculation,” Efron, 19, tells PEOPLE of reports he and costar Vanessa Hudgens are in a salary dispute. “I can’t believe it. It seems like these days an insider can say anything they want.” Instead, Efron says, the cast is in agreement on what it would take to make another movie. “There’s no feuding with High School Musical,” he said at the London premiere of High School Musical 2 on Sunday. “I can tell you that if the script is good and if we all agree on a final script, then there’s nothing that is going to hold us back from doing it. We have fun making these movies and that’s very rare in this business.”

I didn’t realize there was such high-stakes negotiations revolving around High School Musical. Last time I checked it was a low-budget, made-for-TV movie that only airs on the Disney Channel. Somebody tell Zac Efron, king of showbiz, that thousands of effeminate Gap employees can replace him at the drop of the hat. They don’t need script-approval, just a paycheck and the shocked look on their father’s face. I can have Stevie who folds the chinos at Old Navy on stage in under an hour. He’ll work for a mocha smoothie and a chance to get his father back for locking him in the closet with a bottle of whiskey and a Victoria’s Secret catalog which, if you ask me, is just good parenting.

Original post by Suzi

Yeah, she’s like 4′ 8″, but Eva Longoria is still the hottest lawn gnome I’ve ever seen. Although to be fair, most lawn gnomes I see are standing on lawns and almost never wearing bikinis, so who knows for sure. Anyways, according to my calculations if you threw her in a hospital room filled with terminally ill children, at least half of them would get better. What’s that you say? My calculations look like crayon drawings of a dinosaur attacking a city? You clearly know nothing about medicine, my friend. I’m almost embarrassed for you.

More of Eva Longoria improving the view in Alicante, Spain after the jump.

Original post by Suzi

Hayden Panettiere took the Heroes promotional tour to London after a stop in Paris last week. I’ve got a great place for her next visit. It’s a hot, sweaty, exotic location where large structures are known to forcibly erupt. That’s right. I’m talking about Hawaii. Wait, what did you think I was talking about? Wow! You people are unbelievable. I happen to have a special place in my heart for our nation’s 50th state and I just thought Hayden would enjoy its tropical beauty. Man, you guys are perverts.

UPDATE: Okay, fine, so I was referring to my crotch. Hayden, one first-class ticket to my pants is on its way to you. Certified mail. Sign “yes” for love – and my wiener.

Original post by Suzi

Brad Pitt told a TV reporter in Italy that he and Angelina Jolie are ready for a fifth child. People reports:

“It’s the most fun I have ever had and also the biggest pain in the ass I have ever experienced,” he told reporters at the Venice Film Festival on Sunday. “(But) I love it and I can’t recommend it any more highly.” When asked by Italian state TV if he and partner Angelina Jolie were ready for a fifth child, Pitt replied: “Yeah, we’re ready.”

Brad says having all the kids around increases his productivity:

“It makes me much more efficient,” he says, “because that’s the main focus. It makes me feel when I do have time to work, I really do have to focus because there is a really short window to get something done. I am quite pleased by it all.”

Well, hey, that’s nice. Brad and Angie want a big family. I would say something smart here, but I’m afraid they’ll adopt me. Of course, that means I could feasibly talk Angelina into putting me on a strict, breast-fed diet. Interesting. I have an announcement: Mr. and Mrs. Smith is the direct cause of world hunger. That should do it. I can hear my new parents filling out the adoption papers now. Do you think if I ask nicely, Angelina will squeeze some breast-milk into my morning coffee? I never know what’s kosher with these Hollywood types.

In case you’ve forgotten what these two look like, here they are at the 64th Venice Film Festival yesterday. A ton more after the jump.

Original post by Suzi

Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams ended their three-year relationship over the weekend. The couple has a daughter Mathilda and friends say the split was amicable. A source close to the couple says:

“It was rocky for awhile. They did what they could to make it work.”

Man, I feel sad for poor Michelle Williams. Without Heath Ledger she’s officially doomed to obscurity like the rest of the Dawson’s Creek cast. It could be worse though. Didn’t one of those kids marry a gay guy that believes in aliens? What’s that chick’s name again? Sadie Combs? I don’t know. If she was important, I’d probably have remembered her name. Now who was I talking about? Oh yeah, Heath Ledger’s ex, good ol’ what’s-her-face.

Original post by Suzi