Thought Angelina Jolie was different from every other celebrity because she goes around saving the world? Well she’s not. She bought her 2-year-old daughter Zahara a white Valentino purse identical to hers. Because, you know, 2-year-olds need purses. And not just any purses. Valentino purses. What, your 2-year-old daughter doesn’t have a designer handbag? Oh my God you’re a loser. Go get a job or something. Next you’ll tell me you don’t have your own helicopter. I’m embarrassed just talking to you.

Original post by Suzi

The Britney Spears/Kevin Federline custody battle is already the circus we knew it would be. Kevin’s lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan is trying today to get a secret witness to testify against Britney Spears. The witness apparently worked for Britney after she left rehab. TMZ reports:

Dennis Wasser, who reps Spears, said, “Shame on Mr. Kaplan. How can he let this go on?” We’re told Kaplan made a play for the witness last Tuesday, but was shut down by the judge. Gloria Allred, who reps the witness, is about to address the court and explain why the judge should consider his testimony in the custody dispute.

I have some breaking news: I know the identity of the secret witness. It’s Tom Sockington – Kevin Federline’s sock puppet. Ridiculous, I know, but wait until he delivers his damning testimony. Although, it’s not so much a testimony, but a declaration under oath of Tom’s undying love for Cheetos. Because, really, at this point if you were Kevin Federline, wouldn’t you be showing off too? He could drop dead in the middle of the courtroom and still win custody. Why not have some fun?

UPDATE: Kevin Federline invited five strippers into the courtoom. He’s now riding an ostrich and throwing grapes at them. The judge is actually laughing! And, what’s this, the judge is presenting Kevin with a “Father of the Year” award. Incredible!

Original post by Suzi

If you can read Avril Lavigne’s latest interview with Q Magazine without wanting to head butt your monitor then you’re a stronger person than I am. Because I read this thing and all I wanted to do was start head butting monitors.

On dealing with her incredible success
“Selling 24 million albums hasn’t really affected me, but it has changed things. I can’t walk into a room full of people any more without everybody turning their heads, and I can only eat in certain restaurants where I know I won’t get hassled. But that’s OK. I was born to do this, and so I’ve learned how to cope.”

On her competition
“Someone like Kelly Clarkson is beautiful and has a pretty voice, but with me you get a much stronger image. I’m tough, I have a look that girls want to copy, and I sound a particular way. It’s good if you’re not easily ignored. And I’m not.”

On her generosity
“I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, ‘Take it to Katrina!’ I also like to give stuff to people who are my ‘workers,’ especially if they don’t make much money.”

On her polarizing personality
“People love me and people hate me, but I’m comfortable in my own skin and that’s what counts. And anyway if you do hate me, you’re the loser, not me.”

Wow, what an amazing person. When that “hurricane thing” happened Avril sent boxes filled with crap to Katrina. And she also likes to give stuff to her employees who don’t make much money. I hear they were going to give her a humanitarian award but she was disqualified because they said it wasn’t fair to the other nominees. Sometimes when I read the Bible I get her confused with that Jesus character.

Original post by Suzi

Mary-Kate Olsen wants to be able to hit the beach without fear of predatory bikini shots. While being interviewed about her recurring role on the upcoming season of Weeds, Mary-Kate talked to Entertainment Weekly about her career and the media. Here’s what she had to say:

On her career with twin sister Ashley
“If you look at our career from 21 years ago to today, it was about entertaining a specific audience. It wasn’t about acting. It was about pleasing other people and making kids smile.”

On her latest role
“To say that I got to work with those people - with Mary-Louise Parker! - is a great thing. We did have to change our signs, though. When we were on location, we couldn’t have Weeds signs up because we would get stalkerazzi.”

On the constant media attention
“So every time I see paparazzi, I cover my face so they don’t get a picture, and I’m just ‘the mean person who doesn’t smile.’ I would love to be able to swim in the ocean in Malibu. But that is asking for a bikini shot. That’s inviting something that I don’t want to happen. I don’t need to be on a ‘Who’s Skinny, Who’s Fat, Who’s Looking Healthy, Who’s Not Eating?’ list.”

Mary Kate is doing another sitcom. How original. Weeds is exactly like Full House. Except for the profanity. And rampant drug use. And graphic sex. And maybe it has quality acting, an intriguing plot and characters you don’t want to throw under a bus. But, other than that, yeah, it’s the exact same thing as Full House. Geez, try something different for a change.

NOTE: I did get a bikini shot of Mary-Kate Olsen once. It basically looked like two pieces of fabric stapled to a broomstick. If that just turned you on, you’re either a very horny janitor, or in need of shock therapy.

Original post by Suzi

I usually like to start my morning off with a hot cup of joe. It cures what ails you. On the flip side, I don’t like to start the day being slapped in the face with pictures of ass-clown supreme Pete Wentz. Being a generous guy, I thought I’d post these and let you share my pain. I’m kind of like Santa Claus, but instead of cool presents, I put an anger so black in your heart you’ll contemplate throwing a puppy into space. Merry Christmas!

Original post by Suzi

Eva Longoria is back to work after the high profile wedding she had.

Eva is back with the season four of Desperate Housewives. A new promotional pic of the hit series shows all the stars looking good.

Eva Longoria looked flawlessly bronze and lean, with tall orange flames blazing in the background. According to the Daily Mail, the smoldering image is in line with the show’s revamped catch-phrase, “It’s A Hell of a Day in the Neighborhood’.

The fourth season of Desperate Housewives is set to begin by the end of this month, the story will take a very different twist.

Eva Longoria’s Gabrielle, who discovered her new spouse’s true motives in last season’s finale, will embark on a steamy affair with ex-husband, Carlos

Original post by Sarah

Beyonce will be getting married soon.

Though it is not officially announced but her long time boyfriend Jay-Z has sparked their marriage rumors and hinted that they night be getting married soon.

When he was asked if he has any marriage plans he said there is a possibility of the couple getting married.

“One day soon - let’s leave it at that,” Us magazine.com quoted the rapper, as saying.

Does that say it all?

We’ll have to wait and see.

Original post by Sarah