Mischa Barton showed up to the Save the Children’s 75th Anniversary Celebration in New York City last night. And apparently her idea of saving the children is showing off her areola in a see-through top. Me, usually, I just break down the doors of burning buildings and pull the children out with my bare hands while curing their cancer. But, hey, maybe Mischa is on to something.

Click the above image for the very slightly LSFW version. I wouldn’t even go so far as to call it a nipple slip.

Original post by Suzi

Page Six has a long explanation of everything that went wrong with Britney Spears’ performance at the MTV Video Music Awards Sunday night, including the fact that she showed up hours late to rehearsal completely out of shape, had a drink in hand, and refused to wear MTV’s outfit because she thought it wasn’t sexy enough.

On Saturday, the day before the VMAs, Spears was scheduled to arrive at rehearsal at around 1 p.m. Our spy said, “She didn’t even get to Las Vegas until 4:30 p.m. It was ridiculous . . . The production people at MTV were freaking out . . . Nobody can tell Britney what to do anymore. No one can control her. She is a mess.”

To make matters worse, when she arrived in Vegas, Spears didn’t go straight to rehearsals.

“She went to her hotel room and ordered a bunch of food and some frozen margaritas,” the spy said. “She came down, like, an hour later with a frozen margarita in her hand.”

When Spears preformed on Sunday, she stumbled a couple times and couldn’t remember the words she was lip-syncing. She covered her mouth at one point but by the end of the song had simply given up any pretense of singing.

“The dance number was spectacular - without her,” said our spy at rehearsal. “When the stand-in was rehearsing with the dancers, in the hours they were all waiting for her, it was amazing. Then Britney showed up and refused to do anything. The dancers were supposed to lift and twirl her in the air a few times, and that just wasn’t going to happen. The more complicated dance moves had to be erased because she couldn’t do them.”

Meanwhile, Spears was agitated because she didn’t like the outfit MTV had selected for her.

“MTV wanted her to wear a corset outfit. It would have looked great and covered a lot of things up, but she hated it and didn’t think it was sexy enough.”

Instead, Spears changed into a spangly bra-and-underwear outfit she’d brought with her that emphasized her weight gain over the last year.

MTV execs weren’t the only ones worried about Spears’ impending debacle. Another spy said, “The dancers were texting pals, asking them to pray for them. They were worried.”

After Spears performed at the VMAs, she allegedly broke down in tears but then partied until 3 a.m. She changed outfits several times and again was photographed by paparazzi wearing no underwear.

To be fair, that other outfit probably would’ve covered Britney up. And how is Britney supposed to show off her sexy body if she’s covered up? God, sometimes people don’t even use their brains. It’d be like covering up the Mona Lisa. Assuming, of course, the Mona Lisa ate a bunch of other paintings, was always asking for bacon, and was planning on shuffling around on stage for three minutes before collapsing out of breath.

NOTE: If you haven’t already seen it, I put up the video of the crying Britney fan that’s been circulating the interweb. And yes, it’s fake. I mean the guy is real, but the stuff he says is not. His name is Chris Crocker and this isn’t the first ridiculous piece of acting he’s done on YouTube.

Original post by Suzi

Tommy Lee apologized on his official website today for getting in a fight with Kid Rock during Alicia Keys’ VMA performance of George Michael’s “Freedom.” He writes:

Yeah!! …..here I am minding my own biz having a great time with my friend Criss Angel (magician) and watching the MTV awards in the front row saying hello to all my friends……Pamela comes and sits on my lap who I love and adore….and also say hello to my friend Travis Barker and his wife!…..and i get a text from another friend P. Diddy and he says come sit with me…..and he’s sitting with Miss HOT Megan FOX so I go over and sit with P! Not a minute later and Alicia Keys starts her amazing performance….(”I apologize sweetie…..I had nothing to do with the timing and disrespect”)……back to the stupid-ness!!….so….. I get a tap on the shoulder from Kid Pebble…I stand up and embrace him with a semi hug and say “Hey dude…What up”?? He punches me in the face…..well if ya wanna call it that!?….more like a bitch slap!…….Wuss!! Anyway….i go to knock this jealous country bumpkin the f$%k OUT….and before I can have a meeting with my fist and his ugly ass mug ….security guards… grab me and haul my ass outta the award show! So I’m fine and of course leave to my room with police and owner of the Palm’s George Maloof……the rest is paper work and bullshit!… Anyway…… I would like to apologize to Alicia and George and MTV for the disrespectful bullshit caused by a piece of shit called Kid Pebble!!

We are in the presence of a modern-day Shakespeare. “Kid Pebble,” brilliant! If you didn’t read the entire message, do so now and treat yourself to a rare example of vernacular wit and cunning. Tommy Lee is truly a master of the English language and should be heralded as such. Bravo, Tommy, as a fellow wordsmith, I salute you and implore you to never sway in your literary endeavors. For tomorrow shall be a slow news day and, if you say something else stupid, I’m covered until lunch.

Original post by Suzi

So after the VMA madness of yesterday, nothing cleanses the palate like boobs. Good, old-fashioned gigantic boobs. Brought to you today by Jessica Simpson who, when’s she not looking like an over-tanned duck, has actually been kind of hot lately. I had no idea she was packing such heavy equipment. Downright medicinal. Cancer patients are looking at these pics and now only have a mild cold. It’s true, I’m practically a doctor. I’ve got the lab coat, prescription pad and, yeah, maybe I’m not wearing pants. I’m like that guy from House. I play by my own rules, but instead of saving lives and being an asshole about it, I just look at boobs. Who’s the real hero? Me. Dr. Boob-looker, M.D.

Original post by Suzi

While Britney Spears demonstrated to the entire world how screwed her career is, guess what Kevin Federline was doing on Sunday. Partying in Vegas? Nope. Hitting up a strip club? Sorry. Having some beers at a local bar? Not even close. Kevin Federline was throwing a pool party for his son’s birthdays. People reports:

Personal assistants were seen picking up banners, balloons and an ice cream cake, all in the theme of the animated movie Cars, for Jayden James, who turns 1 on Wednesday, and Sean Preston, who turns two on Friday.

It gets even better.

Spears’s parents, Jamie and Lynne, stopped by for the party at Federline’s San Fernando Valley home, joining about 20 guests. They had also visited their grandchildren the day before, while their daughter was hitting the club scene in Vegas.

Kevin, dude, you won. You have this thing in the bag. Go do something crazy. Treat yourself. Solicit a prostitute. Get a DUI. Hell, is someone really pissing you off lately? Murder them. Sometimes you need to relax and let your cornrows down a little. Don’t even worry about what your lawyers say. You don’t need them. Just hire that kid who makes the tacos at Taco Bell. He doesn’t speak English? Even better. That might finally add some challenge. Maybe. But probably not.

Original post by Suzi

Do you see what I did there? I wrote a headline that is the complete opposite of what’s really happening here. It’s called sarcasm, son. You see, Natasha Lyonne is most definitely not looking awesome. She’s looking like somebody better call the National Guard and get her off the beach before she eats a small child. I’m surprised my laptop hasn’t started crying. Oh, there it goes. Inanimate object; Has no soul, but yet cries when it displays pics of Natasha Lyonne. No, wait, don’t delete your hard drive! Porn! Someone get me porn – time is a factor!

A couple more shots of Natasha Lyonne at the beach after the jump, but seriously, why do that to yourself?

Original post by Suzi

Britney Spears train wreck performance at the VMAs was thrown together at the last-minute. MTV apparently nixed Britney’s original idea that would’ve included the highly-publicized magic of Criss Angel. Britney was unmotivated about the performance and it showed. E! Online has the details:

“Britney wanted an elaborate magic act on stage,” an insider reveals. “But it got to be so over-the-top, it was just too complicated to pull off. So, she had to modify her act at the last minute, and she wasn’t happy.”
The 25-year-old pop tart reportedly wanted to stage a series of Criss Angel-inspired illusions that would have had her disappearing and reappearing throughout the act.

Britney decided to honor her commitment to MTV, but her lack of enthusiasm became evident.

“She went out all night and then came in for rehearsals entirely not into what she was doing,” our source said. “It was obvious she didn’t want to be there.”
Though people around Spears tried to reassure her the act was strong even without the magic stunts - even Justin Timberlake, who reportedly sent his ex a good luck note - the singer visibly lost her motivation to perform.
“Brit no longer seemed to care. She’d roll her eyes in response or not say anything. It was hard to watch,” our source said.

Britney also blamed a broken stiletto heel, advance knowledge of Sarah Silverman’s cracks and allergy drops for the lackluster performance. All interesting theories, but I know who’s really to blame: Scott Baio. I may not have one single shred of evidence to back that up. I might also have just seen a commercial for his reality show and named him out of sheer hate. But I know it was him. And I’ll prove it. Even if I have to die trying.

UPDATE: I gave up after five minutes and made a sandwich. Suddenly I realized I care way more about mustard than anything I was just talking about. I don’t even remember. But this is some good mustard. Spicy brown.

Original post by Suzi