Not much going on today, so here’s Natalie Portman out in New York being shy. I can’t even remember the last time she was on the site. I think it was back in the 1920’s. The site was in black and white, and everytime a post went up there’d be a little kid on the corner with a funny hat yelling, “Extra! Extra! Read all about it!”

Original post by Suzi

Heidi Montag confirmed that she had breast augmentation and rhinoplasty surgery in April. For those of you keeping score at home, Heidi got implants and a nose job. The reality star gave an exclusive interview to Us Magazine about the experience:

On why she had surgery:
“I’ve always been very insecure about my body. My whole life, I looked at my chest and was like, OK, they’re going to grow. This is my year! And it never happened. I was less than an A-cup. I wore pushup bras, which cut into my skin. If I was with a guy and there was a girl next to me with big boobs, I would be like, Oh, my God, he’s looking at her!”

On being teased about her appearance:
People would say, “You have such a big nose!” And they’d make fun of me for being so flat, and say mean boy things, like, “If you nailed two nails in a board, they would be bigger than you are.” I was tormented. And when I was older, I’d want to be intimate, but I’d feel insecure. My boyfriends always had bigger chests than I did!”

On going under the knife:
“But surgery is a very big deal. Right before I went in, I was like, What if I don’t wake up? Oh, this is scary. Then I thought, I don’t care. If I don’t wake up, it’s worth it. I just wanted it so badly.”

Okay, no one ever told me The Hills taught people moral lessons. I’ll still never watch it, but it’s good to know positive messages are being sent to young girls. Either have great breasts or get elective surgery that you might not wake up from. I’m practically crying that such a pure, wholesome example is being set. Bless you, Heidi Montag. Bless your large fake breasts and skewed world view.

Note: If you completely missed the sarcasm above, it’s time to lay off the reefer and think about getting a job. No rush though. Make sure you click on a few ads first. You know what; on second thought forget what I said. Light up and enjoy some fine gossip. You earned it.

Original post by Suzi

Victoria Beckham decided it’d be cool to dress like a Nazi as she flew from LA to Japan. Some say she’s basing her look on Tom Cruise’s new role as a Nazi colonel. Victoria and Tom’s wife Katie Holmes are close friends. So close, that Katie is coaching Posh Spice’s career that can’t seem to take off. A source close to Victoria spoke to the The Daily Mail:

“Katie Holmes had been helping her with scripts and perfecting her acting but even that has not helped the situation. Victoria had hoped to be picking and choosing presenting roles too. She had wanted perhaps to guest host on Larry King - in the way that Heather Mills did. But that has not worked out either. She had been hoping that the documentary about the Beckhams moving to America would be made into a series, but it was cut right back too. Victoria had also set her sights on getting the cover of American Vogue but that too has proved elusive. Basically she pinned her hopes on offers of work coming flooding in but that just has not happened.”

Victoria Beckham is making all the right moves. First she seeks advice from Katie Holmes whose career was quietly murdered in its sleep by Tom Cruise - right after he stole Katie’s looks. Then Victoria dresses like a Nazi in public. Smart, smart move. She’s on her way to being the hardest working woman in Hollywood. Posh’s publicist must be the best in the biz. Or a ham sandwich. I can’t decide.

Original post by Suzi

Zac Efron helped launch Halo 3 at Universal Studios yesterday. Interesting choice. When I think of Halo, I think of crazy guns, ridiculous combat and ignoring your significant other. You know, guy stuff. When I think of Zac Efron, I think of ballet slippers, pixie dust and fruit smoothies. I also feel strange feelings – down there. I mean, I feel strange feelings because I’m hunting. Yes, hunting. I grow a beard and wrestle bears deep in the wilderness. Then I go to a bar where women dance naked on poles for dollar bills. Yes, I totally do all that stuff and did I mention I smoke cigars in my sleep? Just want to make sure I’m getting my point across.

Original post by Suzi

Okay, for those of you who don’t know who Dita Von Teese is, she’s a European burlesque star who was married to Marilyn Manson briefly. If you needed that information to enjoy this ad, seek psychiatric help. As for me, I’m now totally into spaying and neutering. In fact, I went out and rounded up a pack of stray dogs just to show Dita how much I’m into animal birth control. So what do I do now? Make them watch a video or something. Whoa, wait, I cut off their what? I don’t care what the hot lady in the corset says, that’s just nuts – no pun intended.

Original post by Suzi

Paris Hilton is traveling to Rwanda to help bring aid to the troubled country. (Yes, that sentence really just happened.) She will make the trip in November in an effort to help families and children in need. Paris talked exclusively to E! Online about her plans:

On what prompted her trip:
“There’s so much need in that area, and I feel like if I go, it will bring more attention to what people can do to help.”

On her increased interest in humanitarian causes:
“I want to visit more countries where poverty and children’s issues are a big concern. I know there’s a lot of good I can do just by getting involved and bringing attention to these issues.”

On keeping the planet safe:
She will also be working on her new Beverly Hills home to make it more “green friendly.”
“I just bought the house and haven’t been able to work on it yet,” Hilton said. “But I intend to.”

It’s nice to see Paris Hilton acting like a somewhat informed, caring individual. That being said, if she goes all Angelina Jolie and starts popping out kids, I’m fleeing the Earth. Some naysayers think strapping dynamite to my car won’t enable it to travel through space. I’ll be the judge of that when I’m flying past the moon and you’re battling Paris’ offspring. I heard that instead of blood, they have herpes flowing through their veins. I just wrote that on the internet, so now it’s a fact. Feel free to quote me in your scientific journal.

Original post by Suzi