I’m not exactly sure who Kristin Bell is or what she’s done, but here she is wearing a bikini on the set of Heroes. Apparently her character has the ability to put on silly hats and pretend her hand is a gun. That’s a pretty neat power I guess. In a tough situation she could make a bank robber, I dunno, laugh to death.

Original post by Suzi

Kate Hudson went out for a stroll in New York City yesterday, but it looks like she’s missing something. I can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s something I usually look for in a woman. Personality? No, that can’t be it. In fact I’m pretty sure I just made that word up. It’s almost like there should be two objects in her general chest vicinity. And, in an ideal world, those objects should almost suffocate Kate when she jogs. Man, what are those things called?

Original post by Suzi

In case you were wondering how much Lindsay Lohan loves coke, she’ll stoop to hanging out with Steve-O to get it. And by get it, I mean steal it. Steve-O was on Howard Stern yesterday and told listeners about Lindsay’s heist. Page Six reports:

Lohan took what he called the “Boog Suge” from him after she forgot her wallet in his bathroom and came back to his place to get it. There’s even proof she was there - Lohan had to sign a release while at Steve-O’s house for a DVD he was filming at the time.

I just thought of a brilliant idea. CIA, listen up, you’ll want to hear to this: Somebody should tell Lindsay Lohan that Osama Bin Laden has a stray bag of blow hanging around - prime for the snatching. She’ll find him in five minutes flat. Bam! Terrorism solved. Whatever few Al Qaeda members are left, I’ll handle. When they come for Osama, I’ll simply flex and the sheer shockwave will send them careening into the cosmos. I really hope someone at the Pentagon is writing this down.

Original post by Suzi

I don’t know where or when these were taken, but they feature Jennifer Love Hewitt topless with rocks on her back. And also Jennifer trying to put her leg over her head. Or something. I don’t know. The only thing I do know is that these might be the most important photographs of our generation. Well, except for that one I took of a doggie wearing a funny hat. That thing won like three Pulitzers.

Original post by Suzi

Angelina Jolie attended a conference on global education at the Clinton Global Initiative Annual Meeting. I don’t even know what any of those words mean. I do know that Bill Clinton probably asked Angelina to provide some humanitarian relief – in his pants. That guy is smooth. But I’m smoother. I would’ve talked Angelina into removing the trade embargo between my man parts and her refugee camp. Get it? *nudge nudge* It’s political, see? Get it? Now that’s how you romance, Clinton. I hope you took notes.

Original post by Suzi

Playboy has offered Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards $1 million to pose nude – together. I’ll pause for a moment and allow the rush of blood to return to your brain. The Sun has the details on the potential boob-sandwich:

“Neither Pam nor Denise has committed yet, but they’re seriously considering it.”
Pammi met Denise on the set of Blonde And Blonder last year, where they became friends.

Someone needs to give Hugh Hefner the Congressional Medal of Honor today. Like right now. Sure Pamela Anderson is looking a bit rough these days, but that’s why Jesus stepped down from the heavens and gave us Photoshop. He bestowed upon us a gift that makes older women with ridiculous breasts look smoking hot. And now Hugh Hefner is using that miraculous gift to put two smoking hot chicks together – with their boobs out. Why didn’t someone tell me church was so awesome?

Original post by Suzi

Well this almost debunks my vampire theory. I say almost because Kirsten Dunst might have some sort of crazy sunblock that allows her to traverse among us mortals. But for what purpose? I guess she wanted us to remember how pale she is. Thanks for the reminder, Kirsten. Now please stop deflecting the sun into my eyes. I actually need them to look at women that don’t make me wonder how cruel God truly is. Ooh, a valet, I’m saved! Stab her in the heart!

Original post by Suzi