Danny Bonaduce threw Survivor contestant Jonny Fairplay last night while Fairplay was introducing an award at the FOX Reality Really Awards. Fairplay was getting booed by the audience and when Bonaduce got on stage to let him know he sucked, Fairplay decided this would be a good time to jump on Danny and hump him. Apparently Danny disagreed, because he dropped Fairplay on his face, causing him to lose a few teeth and break a toe. Although I’m not sure what all the fuss is about. It’s not like Danny Bonaduce kicked a box of kittens down the stairs. When somebody jumps on your face and humps you, you throw them off. That’s what you do. What were people expecting, for Danny to throw Fairplay a $20 bill and light up a cigarette?

NOTE: The video contains a small amount of violence. If it offends you, you might want to go back to your coloring book and get off the internet.

Original post by Suzi

Kid Rock says his ex-wife Pamela Anderson lied about a miscarriage last year. People reports:

Anderson got mad when Rock delayed a visit to her on the set of her movie in Canada so he could attend a Los Angeles Lakers game, the 36-year-old singer tells Rolling Stone magazine.

“I’m like, ‘Baby, I got these tickets. I’ll see you on the weekend there,’ and that leads into her saying, ‘You don’t care about me, blah blah blah,’ ” Rock says. “She finally comes up with this: ‘I just had a miscarriage’ … and hangs the phone up.”

In November 2006, Anderson’s then-publicist issued a statement confirming reports she had a miscarriage and asked that “everyone respect her privacy during this difficult time.”

However Kid Rock claims when he got to Vancouver, things weren’t what they seemed:

“She’s partying at this restaurant, drinking champagne, jumping on the tables. I’m thinking, ‘That’s a quick recovery from a miscarriage.’ ”

Rock filed for divorce from Anderson a month later, ending their four-month marriage.

Uhh… Hmm. Wow, where should I even start? Well, what if – no that’s not right. Maybe Kid Rock – nah, can’t say that either. Oh thank God, just in time: Hey, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are going back to court today! (Start the car. Don’t ask questions. I’ll jump through the passenger window in a second.) I wonder what new developments will happen in their zany custody, uh, thing and perhaps they’ll - GUN IT! Go, go, go!

Original post by Suzi

Britney Spears’ aunt Chanda McGovern is speaking out about her family’s fear that Britney will commit suicide. And here we go, finally the family members are being dug out of the south and interviewed. The circus is now complete. Now I am the master. Whoops, sorry, ignore that last line. Here’s what Chanda had to say to The Sun:

On Britney possibly committing suicide:
“We are worried about suicidal tendencies in her. Everything is spiraling down and she has not got a backbone — a family member to help her. We fear that one day we may turn on the TV that she’s done something terrible to herself.”

On Britney’s outlandish behavior:
“Every time you turn the TV on it’s something and every time it’s more negative than the last. It gets worse and worse. Not wearing panties is not something a true southern girl would do. Then, in front of the paparazzi when she crashed into the car and said, ‘Oops’ and took off, she knows better than that.”

On Britney’s VMA performance:
“In some of the clips we’ve seen it looks like either she’s on something or so drunk she doesn’t know what world she’s in. It’s heartbreaking. Everybody is human, but she needs to come back down to earth. Her mother was always her backbone. Since they’ve fallen out everything has gone to hell.”

On Britney’s kids:
“The kids came second and her party life came first so it really wasn’t a shock that the kids have been taken away from her. It was just very disappointing. You just want to reach out and grab her and hug her and tell her you love her. I want to knock some sense into her and say, ‘Britney — wake up!’”

Look, I’ve got this whole thing figured out. I can’t sit on the sidelines without offering some sort of assistance here. What you need with Britney is some sort of reward system. Every time she gets the kids to brush her teeth, hey, here’s a Chalupa. Make it one day without dropping one, surprise, welcome to your Blizzard. Now for the more serious matters; If Britney makes it a whole week without drinking, Ronald McDonald will come to her house and bring a sack full of Big Macs. You might question my methods, but keep in mind I’m not a licensed therapist. I did house-train a dog once, so I think that qualifies me in regards to Britney. Actually I think that makes me overqualified, but I don’t have time to quibble over details.

Original post by Suzi

Lindsay Lohan did the strangest thing I’ve ever seen her do. She picked a pumpkin for Halloween like a normal person. I think I need to lie down. Ok! Magazine reports:

The 21-year-old, who has been enjoying an extended stay at an Cirque Lodge rehab clinic in Sundance, Utah, following her arrest this summer, ventured out to a pumpkin patch in nearby Orem on Monday. “She seems happier,” one local, who has seen La Lohan out and about in the area, tells OK!. “I think a lot of people around here are really pushing for her to get better.”

So the pumpkin isn’t filled with booze or cocaine or anything? No? Lindsay just wants it for decorative purposes as is customary for the fall season? I’m freaking out here, man. I have to be in some sort of alternate dimension. Nothing makes sense anymore. Next you’ll tell me the sky is green, cows say “quack” and Paris Hilton is a nuclear physicist. Someone get me out of here!

Original post by Suzi

Where’s He-Man? Skeletor’s running around in a wedding dress again. No, hold on, it’s Sarah Jessica Parker on the set of the Sex and the City movie. Gross. So the guy who has to marry her committed some sort of awful crime right? What’d he do; murder the president’s daughter by blowing up a bus full of schoolchildren and baby pandas? Even then marrying Sarah Jessica Parker is a bit harsh. Couldn’t they just give him a lethal injection?

NOTE: This is maybe the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

Original post by Suzi

Britney Spears allegedly hooked up with some guy in Hawaii and supposedly their encounter was videotaped. The Sun reports:

The man in question says he met the singer on holiday in June and taped their alleged night of lust in Britney’s hotel room.

However, according to the unnamed man, the romp was a bit of a damp squib.

He reportedly told a US magazine: “It was just normal sex, we didn’t do anything crazy. It was a little disappointing. It lasted for about 25 minutes and then we passed out.”

So the last sex tape The Sun reported on turned out to be a joke. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is as well. The video will turn out to be some unfunny comedian, like, I dunno, anyone on SNL, doing a bag of Cheetos. Which is ironically how I imagine sex with Britney is like: Sad, awkward and with a lot of crumbs afterwards. Just thinking about this makes me want to sob uncontrollably in the shower while I scrub off a layer of skin. Where did those crumbs come from? Oh God, must scrub harder.

Original post by Suzi

An Orange County tailor Robert Furo Jr. was arrested for burglary after he broke into Nicolas Cage’s house early Monday morning. FOX News reports:

Cage called a security guard at his gated community around 1:30 a.m. Monday after he saw a man wandering inside his home and wearing one of the actor’s jackets, police Lt. Craig Fox said.

Cage was upstairs with his wife and son, and reported seeing the man standing at the door of a bathroom.

“He was standing there naked — except for the leather jacket,” Fox said.

The guard called police, and when officers arrived Cage had already asked the man to take off the jacket and escorted him outside “without struggle,” Fox said.

Robert Furo Jr., if you’re reading this, I just have one simple question: How in the hell do you confuse “Go beat up Nicolas Cage for making Ghost Rider” with “Stand in Nicolas Cage’s house buck-ass naked and wear his jacket?” I mean, yeah, it’s creative, but you still could’ve at least kicked him in the nuts or something. Then kind of dangled your own in front of him, which would’ve been a greater viewing experience than Ghost Rider. In fact, in comparison, your sac should win an Oscar. For those of you who think I’m exaggerating, go watch the movie today and I defy you to say that seeing a strange, middle-aged man genitals would not be more entertaining. Think of it as homework. I’m like one of those awesome teachers on TV except I talk about balls a lot – which makes me more awesomer.

Original post by Suzi