Sometimes it’s nice to hear about celebrities doing something awesome. It gets kind of tiring hearing about the custody battles, drug addictions and whatnot. So here’s Angelina Jolie doing what I can only describe as some sort of miracle. Page Six reports:

Her emaciated stomach nearly ruined In Touch’s plans for this week’s cover: “Is Angelina Jolie pregnant?” To protect its story, the glossy bought exclusive rights to the shots of her taut torso “so no other weeklies could run them,” said an insider. In Touch claims Jolie gained 10 pounds in her chest, but conveniently cropped the photo above her flat stomach. “When Angelina showed up looking so skinny, they bought the photos,” our source said. The mag says, “The most striking area of Angelina’s weight gain is in her chest.”

How in the hell do you gain 10 pounds in your chest? That’s incredible. Seriously, Wonder Woman couldn’t even do that. No matter how many times I told her it would help me pay attention to her more. What? She tied me up with her Golden Lasso! That thing makes you tell the truth and, well, I like boobs. When a magical rope controls my speech, don’t be surprised if I say, “Hey, those could be a bigger.” That’s just cause and effect, baby.

Original post by Suzi

Today is maybe the slowest news day ever, so here’s Gisele Bundchen in Melbourne, Australia launching her new Ipanema shoe collection for Novo. Although calling these things shoes is a stretch. They’re more like flip flops. Ugly flip flops. You’d think a supermodel would be better at this. Well, no, I guess that’s not true. The only thing you’d expect a supermodel to be good at is not eating and holding books upside down.

Original post by Suzi

Talk about a breath of fresh air. Let’s just take a break from Britney and take in the magnificent cleavage of Jessica Simpson. Those things kind of make everything go away, don’t they? I feel rejuvenated already. What’s that? Her face isn’t looking so great? Okay, I don’t want to be rude, but, if you were looking at Jessica Simpson’s face, this might not be the site for you. You’ve completely missed the artistic statement I’m trying to make here, and that is this: Gigantic boobs are the most awesome and important thing in the world. Did I copy that from the Bible? No, but don’t feel bad, I get that a lot.

Original post by Suzi

Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are in the middle of a heated custody battle. Denise recently filed some documents regarding Charlie’s behavior which Page Six got their hands on:

Pictures of Sheen’s “erect penis” that Richards says he used for his profile on sex sites are also included, which Richards claims he e-mailed to “approximately 30 women.”

“I’d love to give it to you any time,” Sheen wrote to one woman under the screen name “mrjonze55.”

Richards says Sheen even visited gay pornography sites - “which I found even more disturbing because I felt that the boys looked underage.”

Charlie is also very adamant about breast-feeding:

Richards accuses Sheen of punching the headboard of their bed once in a rage, and telling her that by no longer breast-feeding, she was causing their daughter, Sam, to “become retarded.”

“He took a large wedding photo off the wall. He had it placed in our garage. He sawed the picture in half and took spray paint and sprayed ‘the dumbest day of my life.’”

Charlie Sheen tore his wedding picture in half and wrote “the dumbest day of my life” on it. That is freaking hilarious. Oh, it’s disturbed, but, seriously, who does that? Outside of a five-year-old? I can just see him arguing in the court: “Your honor, my ex-wife Denise doesn’t deserve to have custody of the kids, because, well, she’s just a big poop-head. Also she’s super-retarded.” Honestly, Charlie Sheen should be a lawyer. He’d win every case. You just can’t compete with this level of word-play.

Original post by Suzi

Judge Scott Gordon ordered that Kevin Federline will maintain full custody of Jayden James and Sean Preston. Britney Spears will be allowed visitation, but only under close supervision. The hearing took place yesterday afternoon, but one person didn’t feel the need to show up. Let’s just say her name rhymes with Whitney Peers. The NY Daily News reports:

“This was the first day that he had custody of his children and he felt it was important for the court to see who he is and to be there should the court have any desire to ask him anything,” said K-Fed’s lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan.

Experts had told The News it would have been a good idea for Spears, 25, to tell the judge face to face she was ready to clean up her act. Instead, she was spotted tooling around the Malibu hills with her dog, stopping at a Starbucks and a gas station.

Britney’s lawyer seemed oh-so-thrilled when asked about her absence:

“It’s totally inappropriate from my perspective to make a comment on an active case without my client’s expressed permission - and she’s not here,” lawyer Sorrell Trope bristled as he left Los Angeles Superior Court.”

It also should be noted that during the hearing Kevin Federline was wearing an eye patch. Don’t believe me? Read the article. Yeah, he claims it was for an eye infection, but c’mon. He was showing off. Hamming it up a bit, if you will. It’s kind of sad Britney wasn’t there to see him dressing like a pirate and still winning. Oh yeah, sure, it’s sad she didn’t show up to fight for her kids. That too. But seriously, she missed out on Captain Kevin of the S.S. Superdad. Talk about a real loss.

UPDATE: TMZ is reporting that Britney Spears is checking into rehab this week “in an attempt to get custody of her children.” Man the harpoons, Cap’n Kev! The whale is fighting back! Argh!

Original post by Suzi

Eva Longoria is laughing about a rumored sex-tape scandal.

It was rumored that Eva and Tony’s lovemaking tape was out and there was much hype created about it.

But Eva says that She and Tony have never filmed themselves in the bedroom and they never made any kind of tape, she said they both are very boring people and also too ‘square’ to film their lovemaking.

The Desperate Housewives star claims that British tabloids, which broke the story overnight, have missed the joke in a spoof sex tape she filmed with comedian Perry Hilton for Web site FunnyOrDie.com.

Eva loves the online spoof film. She says, ‘It’s like the non-sex video because we don’t have sex… It’s so funny… Tony thought it was so freakin’ hilarious… But it’s a skit.’
Looks like rumors have no affect on Eva.

Original post by Sarah

Jessica Alba is doing great with all interesting projects lined up for her.

Alba was doing a comedy flick and after that she is all set with a new project which is a horror film.

Alba talks about her dream role and how it feels to be the world’s sexiest woman in an interview:

Did you always want to be an actor?

I kind of always had it in my mind. I’ve always loved entertaining. It’s kind of in my blood. My grandmother and grandfather were dancing and singing when they met each other. There’s a bunch of theater actors and artists, painters, sculptors in my family. So it’s all kind of just been what I’ve always been around.

What are the pros and cons, personally and professionally, of being considered one of the world’s sexiest women?

I’m like everybody else. I get insecure about things just like everybody else. I wake up in the morning and think, “What the hell am I going to do with my face today or my hair? What am I going to wear?”
What’s your dream role or collaboration?

I’m kind of living one now. I have to say, working with Mike Myers and being his leading lady in the film (“The Love Guru”), that’s huge. … He’s brilliant, and I’m really excited about what’s happening right now. I try not to think too much about what if I could do this or do that. I kind of like to just take in the moment and go for the ride and enjoy it as much as I possibly can, because in three months it’s going to be over, and I’ll be onto something else.

Original post by Sarah