We started the day with Victoria Beckham looking ridiculous, so it’s only fitting that we end the day with her looking futuristically ridiculous. Here she is posing for more photos in Paris and I have no idea what in the hell she’s supposed to be. Is she some sort of feminine robot sent from the future to battle a totalitarian police-state? If so, Robo-Posh should probably look a little more seductive and a little less constipated. Unless these power-hungry cops dig chicks who can’t poop. In that case her facial expressions make sense, I guess. Sci-fi is weird.

Original post by Suzi

Director Brett Ratner, who dated Lindsay Lohan briefly, had some words to say about possibly casting her in his Hugh Hefner biopic. E! Online reports:

“She’s very talented…if she’s sober,” he considered, in response to our Q on whether or not the rehabbed hottie could hack it. “She would be great as a Playboy Bunny.”

Let me get out my scorecard here. Okay, so Lindsay wants to overthrow Britney and steal all her press. What has Lindsay done today: Gave a lame interview to Ok! Magazine and got her name dropped by a douchebag director no one likes. Not very good, but she did just get out of rehab, so it’s a start. Now what has Britney done: Passed a drug test, visited her kids with a court-mandated supervisor and flashed her crotch. Wow. That’s how you get press, baby! Lindsay, some advice, and I’m not even sure this will help: Do you think you can maybe squeeze out two biological kids of your own by tomorrow? I’m not exactly knowledgeable on the whole pregnancy thing, so is that do-able? How about by Friday? Let’s shoot for Friday.

Original post by Suzi

Okay, let’s get what you really care about out of the way first. I’m not even sure if Britney Spears is wearing underwear or not in the upskirt shot. However, if you’re all about vast amounts of inner thigh, you’ve struck gold. Moving on. Britney passed her drug test over the weekend and visited her kids today while under supervision. TMZ reports:

We’re also told Britney is currently with her children and a parenting coach and all is going fine. She has visitation from morning till early evening. Spears also had similar visitation yesterday and last Saturday, and she has accepted the fact that a parenting coach will be watching and making suggestions.

As we first reported, Britney would not open the door for the children last Thursday because she didn’t want anyone to tell her how to raise her kids.

It looks like Britney is getting her act together. Yeah, maybe she should hide her crotch from public view, but after these recent developments, let her be. This could all very well end with Britney becoming a clean, sober, responsible mother that only occasionally wants you to see her vagina. I can live with that. I mean, it’s not exactly the Sistene Chapel down there and my eyes burn a little, but at least her children are safe. In the oven. Where she left them.

Original post by Suzi

Lily Allen managed to go from a size 12 down to an 8 thanks to hypnosis. Us Magazine has the details:

Allen slimmed down with the help of Susan Hepburn, an accredited hypnotherapist and psychotherapist who charges approximately $600 an hour to implant subconscious messages into clients’ minds reminding them to stop eating when they feel full.

“After the hypnotism, I want to go to the gym every day, otherwise I feel really bad,” Allen, 22, said. “I just want to get more toned and healthy. I’m really good about everything at the moment — I’ve never been happier.”

I know what you’re thinking. There’s another star who could probably benefit from this treatment. Out of respect I won’t say her name, but I will give you a hint: she loves Taco Bell. I mean, really loves Taco Bell. Even more than her two children that she no longer has custody of. But, like I said, I won’t mention any names. However this certain young starlet should look into this whole weight-loss hypnosis thing. You know, if she has time after her court-ordered drug test.

EDIT: You caught me, I was talking about Julia Roberts.

Original post by Suzi

Sienna Miller apparently has a nude scene at a lake in her latest movie Hippie Hippie Shake. No need to thank me for sharing these with you. I know, I know, I’ve got a heart of gold. I remembered you guys go crazy for crack-thin chicks with small boobies. Something about women with the body of a 13-year-old boy really floats your boat. Well, consider this an early Christmas present, dear readers. I’m like Santa Claus, if he could bench press 300 pounds and breaks slabs of concrete on his abs.

Pictures are obviously NSFW so click with caution.

Original post by Suzi

Lindsay Lohan, master wordsmith, describes her time in rehab as a “sobering experience.” She sat down with Ok! Magazine after leaving Cirque Lodge and gave them an exclusive interview. I don’t want to say her answers are formulaic, but they’re not exactly all that deep either. Here’s what Lindsay had to say - after being coached by her publicist:

On what her stay at Cirque Lodge taught her:
“It made me look at myself and all the people, places and things in my life in a different way.”

On her plans to return to the rehab facility:
“I’m going back to shoot Dare to Love Me, but I plan on returning to Utah so I can stay focused and avoid other distractions.”

On her arrests for DUI and cocaine possession:
“I hit rock bottom. Everything in my life came to a point where I had to make a decision.”

On returning to Hollywood:
“Tempation is always there, but now I’ll avoid it the right way.
“I’m here to stay,” she tells OK! with conviction. “My talent is a gift and I’m going to use it.”

Lindsay also stated how she just wants to be a good actress for the children. She’s going to say “no” to drugs. Drinking alcohol is bad for the rainforests. And what the world needs now is love, sweet love. Because, according to Lindsay, it’s the only thing that’s there’s just too little of.

Original post by Suzi

Victoria Beckham posed outside the Louvre in Paris wearing what appear to be shoulder pads and a hoochie outfit complete with hard nips. And when I say shoulder pads, I don’t mean like the shoulder inserts from the 80’s, I mean like the ones they use in the NFL. My penis and I are confused. Is she making a statement that says she’s into hard lovin’ but is responsible and wears proper safety gear? Or did I miss some sort of weird, slutty European football game? I don’t know whether to be turned on or throw a tailgate party. I got it! I’ll make some nachos and hire a stripper. Wow, I’m like MacGyver!

Original post by Suzi