Britney Spears and Kevin Federline attended their first Parenting Without Conflict course today. It’s the first time the two have been in the same building since meeting with attorneys back in September. TMZ reports:

The class will last a couple of hours. They will meet with a parenting coach, who will give them advice on how a divorced couple should raise their children.
The kids are not present.
Sources say Britney is actually looking forward to discussing parenting with her ex — however, after arriving at the location, Brit was distraught and bawling like a baby in the bathroom.

What could Britney be so upset about? Unless she still has feelings for Kevin. Could you imagine if these two got back together? No, wait, that’s not even funny. Somebody’s gotta stop this. Snarf, bring me the Sword of Omens! Thunder. Thunder! THUNDERCATS! HOOOOOOOOO! *looks around* Dude, go upstairs and tell Grandma I need 4 C batteries for this thing. Dude, it’s important. I have to stop Britney and Kevin. Jesus, we’ll play Halo later. Fine. Stop crying. We’ll do what you want to do. Again. I hope they name their third kid after you.

Original post by Suzi

With fires ravaging Malibu, you’d think the paparazzi would steer clear of Britney Spears home which has somehow managed to survive the flames. (I’m blaming black magic.) But the photogs continue to storm Britney’s mansion, and her neighbors are just a wee bit ticked. The New York Observer reports:

“Basically, all the paparazzi are still out there trying to get their Britney shot,” said one resident of the beachy burg. “They don’t even care much about the burning houses.”
He said there are five to ten lensmen around the clock. “It’s insane. Just as bad as it was before, only now there are burning trees.”

Mel Gibson’s wife Robyn who lives near Britney was on hand to talk to the Observer’s source:

“She was like, ‘It’s so annoying that people are more concerned about if Britney Spears’s house was burnt’”—so far, it’s escaped any damage—“‘than their own well-being.’” Mad Max’s wife, who was forced to evacuate along with the couple’s twin boys, went on to say that the situation said horrible things about “people’s priorities.”
“Basically,” said the source, “Britney needs to get the fuck out of Malibu.”

So, what are her neighbors suggesting? That people not take pictures of Britney Spears vagina? That’s like asking the world to stop spinning. In both cases the effects would be devastating. What will children have to fear so you get them to eat their vegetables? The boogey-man? Ha! Next time little Jimmy won’t eat his broccoli; show him a picture of Britney’s vagina. If that doesn’t make him start frantically crying and eating, then I have news for you: Your son’s a robot.

NOTE: I put back up the pictures from earlier today in case you missed them. No, no, don’t thank me. Your cries of agony are thanks enough.

Original post by Suzi

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are taking their relationship public after months of rumors. After promoting their new film “Rendition,” Jake and Reese took off to Rome for a romantic getaway. The two were spotted holding hands and “canoodling” with each other. The Daily Mail reports:

Witherspoon, 31, whose divorce from former husband Ryan Phillippe was finalised this month, had previously denied a romance with the Brokeback Mountain star.
The pair first began dating around March this year, although they were careful to avoid being photographed together. However, Reese, who has two children Ava, 8, and Deacon, 3, called the romance off in June, according to reports.
Now it’s clear their love affair is most definitely back on.

I don’t want to say this is the least interesting post I’ve ever written, but I’m currently in a coma. I’m dictating my thoughts by blinking in Morse code to a chimp with a typewriter. Dash. Dash. What the hell is canoodling? Dash. Dot. At least Jake’s not dating Kirsten Dunst. Dot. Dot. Dash. She’s a freaking vampire. Dash. Although Reese Witherspoon’s chin could cleave a watermelon. Dot. Dot. Dot. Make this funny. Dash. Dash. Dot. Talk about bananas and I’ll sell you to NASA. Dot. Dot. No, wait, don’t type that. Dot. These people will go all Ellen DeGeneres on me. Dash. Dash. Dash. Are you typing all this? Dot. Dot. Dammit.

Original post by Suzi

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are taking their relationship public after months of rumors. After promoting their new film “Rendition,” Jake and Reese took off to Rome for a romantic getaway. The two were spotted holding hands and “canoodling” with each other. The Daily Mail reports:

Witherspoon, 31, whose divorce from former husband Ryan Phillippe was finalised this month, had previously denied a romance with the Brokeback Mountain star.
The pair first began dating around March this year, although they were careful to avoid being photographed together. However, Reese, who has two children Ava, 8, and Deacon, 3, called the romance off in June, according to reports.
Now it’s clear their love affair is most definitely back on.

I don’t want to say this is the least interesting post I’ve ever written, but I’m currently in a coma. I’m dictating my thoughts by blinking in Morse code to a chimp with a typewriter. Dash. Dash. What the hell is canoodling? Dash. Dot. At least Jake’s not dating Kirsten Dunst. Dot. Dot. Dash. She’s a freaking vampire. Dash. Although Reese Witherspoon’s chin could cleave a watermelon. Dot. Dot. Dot. Make this funny. Dash. Dash. Dot. Talk about bananas and I’ll sell you to NASA. Dot. Dot. No, wait, don’t type that. Dot. These people will go all Ellen DeGeneres on me. Dash. Dash. Dash. Are you typing all this? Dot. Dot. Dammit.

Original post by Suzi

Jessica Simpson will co-host The View while Elisabeth Hasslebeck is on maternity leave, according to ET Online:

JESSICA SIMPSON is set to sit in with the ladies of “The View” this November when she spends two days as a guest host. The actress and singer will guest-host on the ABC daytime talker on November 15 and 16.

I understand that part of The View’s appeal is that a cute, ditzy blonde is one of the hosts. That’s just smart television. But, Jessica Simpson? Don’t you think that’s a tad overboard? Poor Barbara Walters is probably spinning in her grave.

Edit: Turns out Barbara Walters is still alive. So, what? She can’t spin in a grave? Why? Because she’s a woman? Geez, sexist much?

Original post by Suzi

Mariah Carey launched her new perfume “M by Mariah Carey” at Macy’s in New York yesterday. She also stood next to a vase and showcased her healthy bosom. I’m sold. Order me 100 bottles. I don’t care if it smells like the sensual Living Tahitian Tiare flower. She had me at boobs. Will you accept a check?