Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong were spotted at the Rose Bar in New York Monday night. The two seemed to be really enjoying each other’s company, according to Page Six:

Our bar spy said, “They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m.”

Lance, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I know what it’s like to keep your body at peak physical shape. Like a well-tuned machine. You push yourself to the limit everyday. And sometimes you just need to relax. Whether that entails taking in a movie, drinking a fine glass of wine or having sex with an anorexic Muppet is your decision. In the meantime, since you bagged yourself an Olsen twin, the Sesame Street people keep calling. They want Kermit back.

Original post by Suzi

Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong were spotted at the Rose Bar in New York Monday night. The two seemed to be really enjoying each other’s company, according to Page Six:

Our bar spy said, “They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m.”

Lance, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I know what it’s like to keep your body at peak physical shape. Like a well-tuned machine. You push yourself to the limit everyday. And sometimes you just need to relax. Whether that entails taking in a movie, drinking a fine glass of wine or having sex with an anorexic Muppet is your decision. In the meantime, since you bagged yourself an Olsen twin, the Sesame Street people keep calling. They want Kermit back.

Original post by Suzi

When I came across these pictures of Slash in a bookstore I assumed he was there to drink his weight in Jack Daniels then shoot laser beams out of his guitar in the cooking section. Turns out he hit up Barnes & Noble yesterday to sign his book. Yup, that’s right. Slash wrote a book. I’m going to assume without reading it that it will be the greatest book of our generation. Sure it might not have an empowering tale of sisterhood or ruminations on life after death. But what it will have is strippers. By the hundreds. I’m pretty much going to throw away my copy of the Bible. Won’t be needing that anymore. Thanks, Slash!

Original post by Suzi

Kiefer Sutherland never used to mind signing autographs and was a favorite among collectors. But after his arrest for DUI in September he’s not feeling the love, according to Page Six:

“He would always stand and sign for a half hour, but since his arrest, he’s been telling collectors, ‘I don’t do that anymore. You guys screwed me.’ ” Photos taken before the arrest, showing Sutherland looking tired and emotional, were quickly posted on the Internet. The shots could have been introduced as evidence in court.

Kiefer Sutherland truly was the best autograph signer. I remember one time he signed 50 autographs in under a minute. Yeah, he was blitzed on Jager, and he wasn’t really signing anything as much as punching people in the face. He even threw up on guy’s shoe after yelling “Jack Bauer is a pickle!” But you just don’t see very many stars connect with their fans like that anymore. He really was one of the greats. We’re gonna miss him.

Original post by Suzi

Sienna Miller’s character seems to have a cold in her new movie Hippie Hippie Shake. She also doesn’t seem to wear a bra. Sienna must be playing some sort of inspiring female role model that other women can look up to. Wait, of course! She’s Susan B. Anthony. I should’ve known. The nipple was a dead giveaway.

Original post by Suzi

Christina Aguilera has yet to publicly confirm her pregnancy. Of course, she doesn’t really need to when she’s constantly photographed with an increasingly large belly, and, oh yeah, shopping for cribs. All that aside, seriously, what is the deal with her husband Jordan Bratman? I don’t get the point of this guy. It’s like she brings him along just to help her into the car. I bet afterwards she makes him ride in the trunk. Because what could these two possibly talk about? She’s a high-powered musical talent and he can probably recite the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy - in Elvish.

Original post by Suzi

Jive Records is officially giving up on trying to get Britney Spears to promote her new album. They’re not even planning a tour despite her single “Gimme More” topping the charts. The label realizes that Britney doesn’t care and is apparently becoming fed up with her antics. NY Daily News reports:

“They can’t get Britney to do anything!” said a source close to the label and Spears. “They did get her to do one photo-shoot for some promotional materials, but beyond that, they can’t trust her to even show up. This album could’ve been so much bigger with Britney involved. This is the one opportunity they have to try and sell a million records. They were forced to [go on with] their marketing plan.”

Britney may not even care about the money as her estimated worth this year is near $100 million. Her activities in the press seem to emphasize a detachment with reality:

But her bizarre behavior was evident as recently as Sunday, when our spy found her looking confused as she wandered around the locker room of the Four Seasons Hotel in L.A. — wearing just a bikini bottom. When another woman asked her where the hotel pool was, Brit replied, “Oh, is there a pool here?”

You see what I did there? I started the day off with a scary story because it’s Halloween. I mean, c’mon, how frightening is that? You could be walking around, minding your own business and then “Bam!” topless Britney Spears! Eeeek! But don’t worry. Just tell her you work for Jive and want to take some promotional photos. She’ll shriek and vanish into the night. Presumably to Taco Bell. It’s where the Britney feeds waiting for her next vict – Hey, did you just see that? Was that a nipple? *sniffs* Hot sauce? I didn’t have Mexican… Look! Behind the couch. A stretch mark! AHHH!!

Original post by Suzi