Dita Von Teese performed her burlesque act at Erotica 07 in London today. Her act included a peacock-esque outfit which she stripped out of before pouring water on herself in a giant bird cage. Wow, this show has everything: A woman showering in a cage like God intended and the illusion of sexuality. I say illusion because she’s still wearing a thong and pasties. If Dita really wanted to be sexy she’d be totally naked and I’d be in that cage dressed like an owl. Or even an eagle. It doesn’t matter. As long as we fly away to the magical land of Doing-It-Ville.

Some awesome, despite the pasties, NSFW pics of Dita’s shower after the jump.

Original post by Suzi

Sales for Britney Spears new album “Blackout” have come to a crawl after fans bought only 430,000 copies, according to FOX News:

On Friday morning, “Blackout” stands at No. 59 on Amazon.com. It’s also No. 13 on iTunes, which means that its downloading days are dwindling as well.
A new single, “Piece of Me,” is getting some airplay including on the nation’s top pop station, New York’s Z-100. But that doesn’t seem to make much of a difference.

I’m surprised actually. I thought Britney’s new album was excellent. I even bought copies for my family and handed them out yesterday at Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone seemed pretty happy. I mean, despite my parents disowning me and my 90-year-old grandmother trying to stab me in the neck with a turkey leg. Then my uncle said something about making it “look like a hunting accident.” I dunno, I was too busy trying to suck all the booze out of the rum cake with a straw before the cops came. Unfortunately for me, it was really a meatloaf.

Original post by Suzi

Paris Hilton spent Thanksgiving in Shanghai while preparing for tonight’s MTV Style Awards. As usual, she offered the press her insightful views, according to OK! Magazine:

“Shanghai looks like the future,” the hotel heiress exclaimed to reporters at a press conference, ironically held at a Hyatt hotel.

As if all of Asia didn’t already think Americans are retarded, we had to send Paris Hilton over to drive that point home. I mean, It’s not like she’s helping out with the space program. She’s shopping around in stupid sunglasses and shocking people by continually saying “I’d thought there’d be more nail salons.” Hopefully someone will push Paris into traffic after she asks where they keep all the buffets.

Original post by Suzi

Lindsay Lohan was out and about in New York with her mother Dina Lohan on Wednesday. Lindsay’s apparently reached that age where she wants to make faces for the cameras. It’s adorable really. Until you realize she’s a grown woman and not five years old. Also, I don’t approve of women making faces except for in the bedroom. And that’s only if the Yoda mask falls off. I mean, uh, if the hot chick mask falls off from all the normal sex that I’m totally not videotaping for my Star Wars fansite. Yeah, all that stuff I just said.

Some more pics of Lindsay’s pouty-face while shopping after the jump.

Original post by Suzi

Amy Winehouse visited her husband in prison yesterday and by now you’re probably feeling a strange, burning sensation in your retina. Maybe it’s because you’re looking at Amy Winehouse’s nether-regions. No need to thank me. I’m just doing my part to get everyone in the Christmas spirit. Now let’s go drink some egg-nog then, I dunno, pour bleach in our eyes. Fa la la la la!

Original post by Suzi

Boy George was ordered to stand trial for false imprisonment yesterday. The victim claims Boy George handcuffed him to a bed and threatened him with sex toys back in April. Boy George could face life in prison if he’s found guilty. NY Daily News reports:

The alleged victim, Auden Karlsen, claims he and Boy George met on the Web site Gaydar and he agreed to go to the entertainer’s apartment to pose for photos in exchange for about $840.

Karlsen claims the “Karma Chameleon” singer and an unidentified man changed into sadistic creeps and held him captive.
“I was convinced I was going to die,” Karlsen told the Daily Mail of London earlier this year.

This is nonsense. Boy George doesn’t the look the kind of guy who has to trap people in his house then hold them prisoner. Look at him, he’s attractive. Sure he’s bald, overweight and has a crazy tattoo on his ridiculously pale head. That’s sexy, right? No, it isn’t? I’m still drunk from yesterday? Damn, I thought you wouldn’t notice. What tipped you off? Besides my car being parked in the upstairs bathroom. Hey, it wasn’t me, man. That pumpkin pie said he was okay to drive.

Original post by Suzi