Eva Mendes is the new face of PETA’s “I’d Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur” campaign. What an awesome coincidence. I, too, would rather see Eva Mendes go naked than wear fur. To prove how much I hate fur, I hunted down a bunch of forest creatures and put them in a wood chipper. Yeah, let’s see someone make a coat out of them now. I should be the president of PETA. I get shit done.

The pic above links to a NSFW version that’s full of assy goodness.

Original post by Suzi

Hayden Panettiere took an afternoon stroll before getting a manicure yesterday. I wish she would call me on that phone. Maybe we’d have a lot to talk about. I like dolphins and working out, too. One time I even bench-pressed a dolphin. True story. Go ahead and ask Sea World where I’m not allowed within a 100-yard radius of. Not just because of the dolphin thing. I had a tumultuous affair with a sea lion who, quite frankly, was the greatest love of my life. Take me back, Arfy! I can change!

Original post by Suzi

Amy Winehouse received six nominations for the 50th Annual Grammy Awards today. She was second to Kanye West who received eight nominations. Reuters reports:

Winehouse, 24, was nominated in all four of the top categories: record of the year, album of the year, song of the year (a songwriter’s award), and best new artist.

It’s too bad Amy Winehouse has absolutely no idea what the hell a Grammy is, but it’ll be fun to see her perform. I wonder if they can get her to duet with Britney Spears. Could you imagine? Ten bucks says the Earth opens up and Satan pops out to apologize. “Sorry,” he’ll say. “I went way overboard with these two. I was drinking, playing some online poker and not really paying attention. Can you believe the blonde one had kids? Wow, didn’t see that coming. It’s cool though. I’m going to take these two back to hell with me and, I dunno, toss them in a lake of fire or something. I’m so original. Toot-a-loo!” And that’s how the devil saved Christmas. The End.

Original post by Suzi

Donald Trump left a $10,000 tip for a waiter at the Buffalo Club in Santa Monica. According to reader Leslie:

My friend Billy works at the Buffalo Club in Santa Monica. A couple days ago Donald Trump came in and left him a $10,000 tip! Wow! My friends think he’s just trying to promote his celebrity Apprentice but whatever. Billy told me Donald hardly even talked to him until the end when he asked, “What’s the biggest tip you ever got?” I guess Jerry Bruckheimer (sp?) comes in a lot and once tipped him $500 on a $1000 tab and Bill told him. Trump just wanted to show he’s got the biggest dick!

Usually when I want to prove I’ve got the biggest dick I just unleash the beast and pray to God whatever restaurant I’m in has a buffet table big enough for me to display it. But leaving an outlandish 10 grand tip works too, I suppose. If you’re a pussy.

Thanks to Leslie for the tip. You’re fired! Ha, isn’t that just like the show? Damn, I’m topical.

Original post by Suzi

John Mayer put the moves on Ricki Lake Tuesday night at a Christmas party for the Sunshine Sachs public relations company. Fortunately, publicists were on hand to aid the matchmaking, and ultimately report it to Page Six:

The two talked about Lake’s new documentary, “The Business of Being Born,” before Mayer confessed, “I’ve had a crush on you for two years.” Helpful publicists then herded the two to a back table, where they exchanged numbers.

I would say it’s nice to see John Mayer playing within his league, but that wouldn’t be fair to Ricki Lake. She’s had a rough week as it is. I mean, she did just get hit on by John Mayer. That’s like having the Phantom of the Opera come up to you in a bar. But without his little white mask on. Of course, Ricki Lake always figured she’d end up marrying the Emperor from Star Wars, so dating John Mayer would be close enough. Yeah, it’s a small step down, but sometimes you have to make compromises in life. Except for me. I’m totally going to marry Jessica Biel even if I have to have sex with a bunch of hookers until that day finally comes.

Original post by Suzi

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s recent blog post about celebrity culture’s obsession with weight has inspired other famous women to think their opinion matters. Here’s what they told People magazine:

Petra Nemcova
“There are different angles that everybody, even if you’re in great shape, can look bad in a photograph. And printing these images is definitely influencing people’s minds – the stars themselves, but also the people who are reading and looking at the images, the teenagers. It’s definitely good that she spoke out.”

Rosario Dawson
“They’ll make a whole story about it if someone gains 5 lbs. … It think there is a huge obsession with size-zero jeans, and it’s just really scary. I don’t really know where that comes from. We’re not really in the Twiggy era anymore. It makes me really nervous, because I don’t know how in the world we’re supposed to be that thin unless we’re totally starving and drugging up.”

Anne Hathaway
“[As an actress], most of the year, your body is your own. But to be ridiculed for it is upsetting. But to also have to defend it or explain it or rejoice in it or put it down, or to be expected to have a public opinion about it … I don’t understand when that happened. I don’t think women should only be defined by their bodies and their weight. It’s a cycle we’ve been in for some time, and I don’t really like it.”

Wait, Rosario Dawson, who gained five pounds? Can you maybe drop me an e-mail with their name and attach some unflattering photos? That would be sweet. Thanks, you’re a doll. I’d let you cook me a delicious dinner anytime.

Original post by Suzi

Amy Winehouse flashed her panties again yesterday which surprisingly didn’t fully assault my eyes considering she looked somewhat pulled together. Of course, by about five a.m. she was wandering around a newsstand like a caveman who just discovered fire. After spending no less than an hour trying to figure out how a tiny version of her got into all these glossy pieces of paper, Amy made a sensible purchase of an economy-size box of popsicles. You know, so she can start the day off with a healthy breakfast. Why isn’t she hosting her own children’s show? I would totally let my kid watch it. Mostly to developmentally handicap him amongst his peers as payback for destroying my wife’s vagina. But for the life lessons as well.

Original post by Suzi